The Mottai Boss (a.k.a kaatss)

2007-10-01T09:56:00.000+05:00

LESSON LEARNT

This piece of news is history already. It started all of a sudden with a whole lot of clickety clack sounds from the windows. I was staring at the monitor with some mundane work. Everyone rushed to the balcony to have a view and creating a foot traffic jam in the process. I was determined to catch one piece of ice and looking for a different strategy to execute it. Thats when I learnt the lesson.

DON'T STICK YOUR HAND OUT OF THE WINDOW DURING A FREAKIN HAILSTORM.

Now, nursing my knuckle to health with a pack of ice. The strategy became a freaking tragedy.

2007-06-27T17:44:00.000+05:00

KISS ME????

Last two months were hectic and was accompanied with big shakeup, which resulted in my absence from blog world. Now, I will be able to up the ante on my blogging frequency from "zilch".

Today, I was driving towards Mylapore on Dr.Radhakrishnan Road and stopped behind a truck at Hotel Chola Sheraton signal. The truck's bumper sticker caught my attention, which said

NO KISSING IN PUBLIC
LEAVE 10 FT OF SPACE

A nice point to ponder for all those who are waking up every day to tame the monster called "chennai traffic".

2007-04-21T19:10:00.000+05:00

CONTEMPTUOUS CREATURE

Couple of friends and I were standing in front of a bakery and munching some goodies. We were standing next to the door and chatting, when a street dog walks up the bakery and start wagging its tail. We watch the scene for a minute and the clever dog realizes that a bunch of people are looking at it and shows a sorry face. My friend who is a sucker for animals was eating a cream bun(**), now wants to give a piece to the dog. He starts bugging us and we finally give into his demands.

I pick a piece of the bun, a big piece rather and place it on a paper. I started walking outside with the cream bun. The dog realizes that it is getting some goodies and follows me a few steps back. I place the paper with cream bun on the pavement and turn back. All of us were outside looking at the dogs next course of action. This dog boldly marches to the treat and starts smelling all around 360 degrees. It takes the head away for a second and starts smelling again. Suddenly it looks at us and turns back and starts walking towards the bakery again. My friend who lost close to half of his cream bun looks at his stuff lying on the ground and yells at the dog "You are one f****ng contemptuous creature" and starts to chase the dog.....

(**) Cream Bun: A yummy pastry famous in Madras where an ordinary looking and tasting bun is transformed to a cake like thinggy. Preparation methodology is very simple. All you have to do is to put a layer of sweet chocolate cream in the middle and frosting cream on the top of a bun. Voila! you have a cream bun now.

2007-04-05T07:43:00.000+05:00

NEW JOINEE

Is the term "Joinee" used in day to day vocabulary in place of employee? I have never heard of it until I came to this company. Anyway, a new guy came up to my office at 10 am couple of days before and introduces himself as the new joinee. We could see him a bit nervous as it was his first day. Security guy then makes him wait for half an hour for some HR formalities. Time passes by and he keeps a tab on things goin on in the floor.

The HR girl casually strolls by at 10:30 and gives him a bunch of forms to fill out. He takes about half an hour to finish the formalities and the HR girl takes him over to the concerned team and introduces him to team leader. The team leader talks to him for a few minutes and assigns him to be trained in the current process. By the time he sits next to one of the team members for knowledge transfer, people start walking towards cafeteria for lunch. Joinee keeps looking at them whereas the trainer is busy searching for some powerpoint presentation. Team leader notices it and asks the joinee to have lunch and continue with training.

Joinee takes a look around the office and walks out with a pretext of eating in a nearby restaurant. From that point onwards, not a word was heard from him and frantic attempts to reach him till today has proved futile.

PS: As narrated by the colleague who was training the new joinee.

2007-03-31T22:31:00.000+05:00

MURPHY'S LAWS @ WORK

After a long and non stop 35 days at work, I finally decided to take two full days off and just chill at home. Since I was eligible for two days of paid holiday this month, I decided to take off on 30th (Fri) and 31st (Sat). The strategy was to make use of the following sunday and make it a long weekend. Got the approval from team lead and relegated tasks to colleagues on 28th (Wed), then submitted the leave form to HR guys. I called a couple of old timers for catching up and planned a trip to meet a bunch of old office colleagues. Everything was planned to perfection when the announcement from our great Tamil Nadu goverment came regarding state wide bandh. My company declared a holiday anyway and all my plans were flushed down the toilet.

What a wonderful man is Murphy.....does'nt everybody love this guy and his laws.

2007-03-04T22:09:00.000+05:00

WORK WORK WORK

Bloody, my job is $#$#%^&^%&^%!@!$%!!!!!!!!!

Will try level best to keep regular posting frequency.

2007-02-11T07:35:00.000+05:00

KID IN THE TRAIN

Moved back to Chennai after a long stay in Bangalore. This incident happened on my way back in the train. A kid was standing next to the window and watching the scenery pass by. Out of the blue, he rushes to his father and

Kid: Daddy Daddy. We are in Andhra Pradesh now.....

Dad first looks out of the window and scans for a couple of seconds and then turns back to the kid

Dad: Hey.....how did you know that we are in andhra?

Kid: I saw a cinema posters with chiranjeevi in it.....

You should see the look on the dad's face and a scream from the passengers called laughter that ensued. The kid could not take it and buried his head on dad's lap.

2007-01-29T11:54:00.000+05:00

I HATE.....

............people who fart in the elevator / lift or whatever you call it. You can shove your head in your a**.

Moreover, it is not even funny to whistle away as if nothing happened after polluting the air because we know who the black sheep is.

PS: To you black sheeps, Don't think people are deaf. We can still hear the acoustic effects that you make while carrying out the task.

2007-01-22T11:55:00.000+05:00

OFF TO CALCUTTA

On my way to calcutta to participate my sister's wedding. I have been breaking my head over the gift choices. While discussing the gift topic with a friend, he quoted a couple of incidents that happened in his brothers wedding. The wedding couple received 32 wall clocks it seems. What the hell anyone do with that many wall clocks? They are not one of those who would " regift" gifts and hence gave clocks to milk man, watch man, grocery man, garden man, house maid, he man, bat man etc and are still left with a dozen it seems. Ok, I made the last two up.

Another incident was a gift of fine ceramic dinner set, that became a 10000 piece jigsaw puzzle when it was opened. It seems the guy who moved all the stuff back home from wedding hall in a truck kept it in the bottomost pile. I think the guy had some grudge against the couple.

Anyway, there are a million "gift tales" to be told and I hope things to go smooth and I will be back to bangalore this friday. Oh, by the way, I have decided on what gift to presented, which is going to be a secret coz my sister reads this blog.

2007-01-12T12:13:00.000+05:00

ANOTHER POST

It is high time for another post. As of now, my stay in bangalore has crossed two weeks with a new year thrown in between. Within a couple of days, the harvest festival "Pongal" will start. It looks like that has to be spent the "New Year Way". If you are wondering what "New Year Way", just scroll down to read the previous post. Damn! it sucks to be tucked away from where all the action takes place.

Anyway, bangalore is cool, I meant that weather is cool. I am staying in a place called Whitefield, which I came to know off late that its not bangalore. The traffic congestion, I realized the first time here how bad it is. Any traffic pileup in bangalore follows "1/2 kilometer of stranded vehicles in 5 minutes" law. It sucks to sit in a vehicle that is moving at a slower speed than the guy walking on the road. No wonder a metro is required that connects nook and corner of the city and hopefully the current government moves beyond the "laying down foundation stone" phase in this regard. I took a ride in the volvo bus and it is really a great way to travel everyday. The peak hour crowd in these buses are huge and pretty much passengers are packed like sardines in a can. Off peak hour travel is just a bliss. Will come up with more snippets from bangalore.

2007-01-02T14:56:00.000+05:00

HAPPY 07

Wish you all a very happy new year ahead.

There is really a good reason for my absence from blogging for past couple of weeks. I am now in Bangalore or Bengaluru as it is called now for official training. This new year indeed started nicely. It was a long 10 hour party at my workplace. Don't get hopes raised because I was working the whole day and since we had to report early to our managers, we were forced to skip all regular new year parties. It sucks big time to say "Have fun" to friends who had big plans whereas I was forced to stay indoors. Ah, what a nice way to start.

2006-12-11T21:28:00.000+05:00

RIDE

There is a friend of mine with whom I do bike pooling everyday. Yes indeed, we ride together to work every morning. He happens to be a music aficionado. Well, to put it in perspective, he is more than just a person who likes to listen music. I would call him music crazy of extreme sorts. My friends has a habit of listening to FM during the drive. Everyday, he listens to one particular FM station while driving the bike. Since I have a tough job as a pillion rider, I keep sending joke SMS to my local friends.

Couple of days ago, during a typical morning ride with my friend, we had stopped at a junction due to red signal. All of a sudden, he suddenly began swearing "Sh*t, stupid, fool, idiots" in loud words. I was sitting bewildered and several heads turned towards us including two pretty girls next to us in a scooty. I asked him, "What went wrong dude, why are you shouting like this ?". This is what he replied and it goes here as I quote, "What the hell man. The channel was playing a nice song and the stupid DJ stopped it in the middle for commercial break and thats why I am cursing them".

2006-12-01T05:54:00.000+05:00

WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR

A friend of mine was going to USA for the very first time. So, I briefed him on basic stuff to watch for during his travel. I also mentioned him to call or email me for further questions. Here is the first e-mail from the guy after landing.

Dude, i seem to have a problem in the mens room. I dont find any waste
basket inside the loo. How do I dispose the toilet paper. Do I have to carry
it out to the wash area bin???

After reading this, I was on the floor laughing and crying at the same time and immediately drafted a reply so that it does'nt turn smelly too soon.

2006-11-20T08:46:00.000+05:00

HR - THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A really nice phrase. Hope it is implemented everywhere because this is what a company needs to bring up a great workforce.

"take a chance on the person who is eager and engaged, but inexperienced, over someone who is skilled and can do the job, but has less energy"

Ok, this thought did not ooze out of my brain. So, a reference has to be given to the actual person right. Here is link.

2006-10-16T08:11:00.000+05:00

DRY DAYS & WONDERFUL IDEAS

Last four days were dry; I mean really "dry" in Chennai due to local municipal elections. As a matter of fact, the entire state of Tamil Nadu was dry during the election period. The so called chimpanzees in government ordered every damn liquor shop and bar closed. Now, I hope one is familiar with the concept of dry day. Last weekend, the usual gang met at our usual hangout. After chatting for a couple of hours, the weekend bug started biting us and this dryness factor made us scratch our heads. Nobody in the gang had a stash hidden away that will quench the thirst of walking and talking barrels.

Bingo! and everything became clear. The law is applicable only in our state, which meant that neighboring states are open for business right. Which state is the closest to Chennai city? If you are unable to answer this question, then please refer to an India map. The plan was set in motion and everybody hopped into a car and started driving towards NH-5. In the excitement, we forgot all about petrol and as out luck would have it, the car was in reserve. We were out of city limits already and every petrol bunk we entered was not willing / not able to accept the universal plastic. It was crunch time to execute a mini budget session within the car before destination is reached. Everybody pitched in with whatever cash they had and we came up with a strict ration of drinks allocation. Some were disappointed but were still happy to wet the tongues. The rationale behind our fuel ration was that even our mode of transport had to be imbibed something something or else we cannot return back.

After 1 hour and 15 minutes, we were in a place called Tada (Andhra Pradesh), well beyond the border. The car automatically came to halt in front of the first available liquor shop and the gang trotted out to quench their thirst. Everybody sat in the open fields in a big circle and imbibed to their hearts content pulling each others leg. We were on the highway, bordering fields where farmers were growing all sorts of stuff, a small hut were a family was cooking home made stuff to eat and a steady breeze of cool natural air. After spending couple of hours and quenching it was time to head back and then our car got its thirst quenched with petrol for the remaining money. A steady drive back home took us another 1 hour and everybody recounted what kind of fun this was and we enjoyed this trip more than any other star hotel and took a vow to go there more often in the future. The moral(s) of this story are “Don’t count on plastic out of the city limits and carry cash”, “So what if one area is dry, search and go for the next available wet land”, “When there is Andhra Pradesh, No need to worry Chennai”

2006-09-10T13:32:00.000+05:00

ORDER BLOOPER

A customer is sitting in the restaurant. A waiter approaches the customer for an order. The order goes something like this.

"Can I have one plain omelette without egg?"

The waiter then laughs at the customer and walks away.

2006-08-28T07:03:00.000+05:00

PIETY (VS) SLEAZE

Conversation between two people about different times within the day.

Original Version: Tamil
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dude 1: Dei, kaalaila naalu mani mudiyathu da.....velaikku aavathu
Dude 2: Appadi sollathe......athu Brahmma Muhurtham.....romba nalla neram....appo ezunthu swami thozhanum...
Dude 1: Enakku therinja oru nalla neram......Shanthi Muhurtham......ithu enna da puthusa sollara
Dude 2: Ading...seruppala.....nalla vishayam pesumbothu.....neeyum unnoda moolaiyum...
Dude 1: Hehe.....ok machi.....nee sollu

Translation: English (approximately)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dude 1: Dude, I cannot wake up at 4am.....It is just not possible for me
Dude 2: Don't tell like that....that time is called Brahmma Muhurtham.....it is very good time to wake up and worship god.....
Dude 1: Hey, the only good time I know is Shanthi Muhurtham....what is this new thing
Dude 2: Bloody....I am talking about good stuff and you are twisting that into....
Dude 1: Hehe.....ok dude.....you continue

Note:
Shanthi muhurtham: Refers to the first night after marriage.

2006-08-20T07:35:00.000+05:00

WITTY CUSTOMER

Last night, my friend and I were walking towards the local railway station and heading home. We stopped at a small petty shop to have a pepsi and chat about the days progress. Right next to that shop was another small fruit vendor selling guavas. The guava seller was shouting at the top of his voice to attract customers from a predominantly office to home going crowd. One idea in his temporary fruit stall was to implement a 'taste before you buy' feature. Also the seller is praising about the quality of the fruits. Just keep this scene in mind before proceeding below.

Shopkeeper: Taste guavas and then buy....5 for 10 rupees and 12 for 20 rupees....

Shopkeeper: Best guavas in town....sweet sweet guavas....

A customer now comes towards the shop and shows interest in buying some fruits.

Shopkeeper: Sir, very good guavas...they are sweet and will taste like grapes.

Customer: Thats fine....but what about the size....they look like grapes too....and you charge two rupees for one???

Shopkeeper: !?!?!

Hearing this, the two pepsi drinkers went bbbppppppfffftttttt spitting and barely missing shopkeeper, customer, people on the road and each other.

2006-08-06T10:19:00.000+05:00

ITS LIKE THAT

A friend of mine works for a HR Consultancy firm. You can imagine his routine job where he has to shortlist people according to clients requirements and send them for interview. Just like any other HR consultant, his main source of resumes is through job websites like naukri and monster. We and a few other college friends met this weekend and were chatting about life in general. During the course of our discussion, we asked the HR guy about his daily routine.

Friend: So, what do you do daily
HR guy: Search for resumes and conduct interviews
Me: What !?! you do technical interviews
HR guy: Sort of, that is bloody irritating
HR guy: As well as the HR interview....its getting on my nerves
Me: Why dude? You are a HR major anyway right?
HR guy: Yeah, but the fake resume thing makes my blood boil
Friend: Everybody spices up their a resume a little here and there (in a sarcastic tone)
Me: Ha ha....yeah, but you will find several years of experiences and degrees materializing out of nowhere only in india.
HR Guy: Thats true....its going to extreme....the bloody clients are also adamant in their requirements.....
Friend: So, how many resumes do you think are fake out there.
HR guy: I would say at least 7 out of 10 resumes I see everyday are fake.
Friend: (With a sly smile looks at us and says) then, other three have escaped ;)

2006-07-31T07:25:00.000+05:00

RECYCLE - NEW LEVEL

A neighbor recently did some home improvement work. One job was to redo their bathroom and the other was to create a mini garden next to the front porch/car park. I observed how the garden was taking shape because the owners painstakingly brought saplings from various nurseries and planted them in nice fashion. They even included a mini fountain with a mini lily pond. Just remember that the garden is not a miniscule one, but a fair sized one. Initially, one piece in the garden escaped my attention. It was a small creeper that was growing about two feet up and dangling down. It gave a great impression of an overgrown shrub with wild flowers. This made me curious as to how did they manage to bring a big flower pot to dangle two feet up in the air. On further examination, the creeper was found out to be growing in the potty that came out of the bathroom during remodeling. What a nice way to recycle eh? and yeah potty goes places.

2006-07-30T10:23:00.000+05:00

MEDICLAIM BLUES

Sometimes it occurs to me that the concept of insurance itself is a big farce. The main culprit is the amount of frustration one faces for claiming insurance. My dad is hospitalized for a minor problem and he like everybody else of his age took a medical insurance policy with FHPL (Family Health Plan Limited). He is a customer from 2001 without any previous medical history and never delayed premium payments. When he was admitted, the hospital staff completed the formalities within 15 minutes and faxed the pre-authorization form three days ago. We are yet to receive a confirmation whether it is approved or not. What I don't understand is that how long it will take for a bloody Yes or No answer. Apart from the hospital authorities, whenever I make a call to the insurance company's number, the answer is that the application will be processed within the next couple of hours. Is it the gross inefficiency of the staff with insurance provider, or any other factor. My complete blame is on the people working there. The replies I get are from confusing souls who just transfer the connection to another department. At this rate, I expect my dad to be discharged before there is a reply from the insurance company. Everybody knows that healthcare is not very cheap and what if the hospital authorities ask us to cough up all of a sudden. It is pretty sick and in spite of a mental pressure on one side regarding the patient, the tension is high on the financial aspect too. It is high time we switch from the current provider and get one where answer from the company comes within 24 hours.

2006-07-26T10:25:00.000+05:00

CONVERSATION

A piece of chat transcript with a friend.

Me:......
Friend:.......
Me: So, what will be your new location?
Friend: California
Me: oh wow, when are u going then
Friend: I have already shitted
Me: Oh really? When did u do that?
Friend: This morning.
Me: Why this morning, why not later?
Friend: It was urgent and I had to go immediately
Me: You gotta go when you gotta go ;)....thats universal truth
Friend: Yeah....client pressures what to do?
Me: Which client is pressuring you for this....
Friend: All damn clients want the job to be done immediately....
Friend: It was very hard for me.....Imagine one truck load in one morning...
Me: No kidding....one truck load???? are you serious
Friend: Yeah and two car loads too
Friend: All body parts ache below hip ache like hell
Me: Obviously....but, how is the bathroom now....that must be another mini hell right?
Friend: What do u mean???
Me: After your morning duty adventures.....how is it?
Friend: I dont get it man
Me: Hey....scroll up and see what you typed
Friend: ....???
Me: You said something about sh*ittin this morning....
Friend: Bloody a**hole....that was supposed to be shifting...you moron
Me: It was funny when u said that your potty could accomodate multiple truckloads...
Friend: Yeah...get outta that topic
Me: Okie.....so, your plans to come to india during september is still good right??
Friend: Hope so....cannot predict client pressures
Me: Again???
Friend:........
Me:......

2006-07-13T13:55:00.000+05:00

PACKING LABELS

PROJECT: To send a special shipment via courier to a friend.

ITEMS: Four glass bottles of Smirnoff Vodka. (It is not the time to contemplate on the question why vodka has to be shipped this way and there are a few reasons for a justifiable answer.)

PERSON INCHARGE: Gives out explicit instructions on how to pack and also inserts a few ideas for the package to be "vibration proof". At the end, explicitly mentions to stick a note on the box with words "Glass Handle With Care".

PACKER: Follows instructions without any glitches. Stuffs enough hay in such a way that even air cannot enter the box. Finally writes in big bold letters "Glass, Fondle With Care".

Just FYI, I am not any one of the characters in this drama. If you did'nt get the difference, please refer a dictionary.

2006-07-09T06:59:00.000+05:00

LUCKY UNLUCKY

Numbers are very simple right, but they are mysterious too. That is the reason why one gets to see numerologists who add a mystique into numerals. Anyway, people are aware of lucky numbers and unlucky numbers concept. So, here is a the concept of lucky numbers stretched to the limits.

India: At the time of registration, vehicle owners pay money to avoid number plate with the number 8. Sometimes going further to ensure that sum of all numbers is not equal to the figure 8.

China: People buy licence plates at public aution by the government where the number 8 is present. Vehicles with these number plate are considered luckiest.

Look at the fate of 8.

2006-07-03T12:28:00.000+05:00

BREAK

Off to Hyderabad to observe the cybercity in close quarters. Will be back after a couple of days.

2006-06-29T07:47:00.000+05:00

WHAAT???

I was working on a software program today. It is a new technology for me and my learning methodology happens to be a lot of trial and error cases. Due to some reasons, the program just crashed. The system being a good samaritan issued an error message regarding and this, and how it was displayed goes here as I quote

"The current program encountered a situation which really should not occur. Therefore, program is terminated."

What kind of cheesy error message is that? One good thing about the error message is that I burst out laughing instead of some explicit expletives.

2006-06-26T15:17:00.000+05:00

UNIQUE WELCOME

After a long time, there was a plan to meet a friend and his family from school days. That would have been a nice time to recall old stories, except for a peculiar incident. The moment I entered the house and got introduced to everyone including the kids, the dad i.e. my friend instructed his son to say "Hi buddy" to the new uncle, which happens to be me. The kid takes a look from top to bottom and says a quick "Hi" in a feeble voice and runs over to the dad. At this moment, I heard the unique welcome message from the kiddo, "Daddy, daddy, go and beat that uncle".

Aah! the kids these days.

2006-06-22T07:59:00.000+05:00

HEIGHT OF

Everybody has encountered the classic one liner jokes about the "heights". Typically the height jokes will have a question like What is the height of stupidity? and a kinky answer something like Looking through the key hole of a glass door.

Now, with the previous sample in mind, What is the height of forgetfulness? Think for a few seconds before scrolling down for an answer.

Talking on a cellphone and searching for it at the same time.

2006-04-08T09:42:00.000+05:00

MOVIELAND

The previous weekend went with a heavy dose of shooting, crime, money, drugs, smuggling with only one common factor. And of course the factor was Italian mafioso stories. Spent the whole week watching every Al Pacino and Robert De Niro movies that I could lay my hands on. Pretty much I was glued to the big bunch of DVDs for the past six days and finally managed to finished every one of them. Here is the list of movies not in a specific order Donnie Brasco, Goodfellas, Analyze this, Analyze that, Casino, God father series, The Untouchables and Scarface. One small after effect of this marathon movie watching session is a visible change in the language. Every sentence either begins with a f**k or ends with a f**k and it is funny to see italian accent creeping into it. In english, the word f**k must become the most used word in vernacular dictionary soon.

Just Fuggedaboudit eh.

2006-04-06T22:15:00.000+05:00

EXPATS ON THE ROLL

Its one thing to read articles written by Indians about travelogues, favourites, experiences etc. But, its totally a new world to see India through the eyes of a foreigner. I stumbled into these blogs by sheer accidents and now I am pretty much hooked and browse through once in a while.

Yitzy and Esmereldas adventures
Chris and Beth & Co
Lady in Ford Motors
Daniel Sorid
Some not so ordinary gal

Check these out and a small note to other expats in India passing through here. Just leave your url in the comments area, I will add it to a seperate section in this blog.

2006-03-30T21:16:00.000+05:00

DAMN YOU VIRUS

In my computer lab there was a recent outbreak of viruses. It happened to be a sleepy kind of virus and attacked once in a blue moon. This feature made us believe that everything was alright with the computer, except for temporary hiccups. Meanwhile, the virus exponentiated and multiplied and during the processes did some cloning and reproducing itself. Finally, when it dawned upon us that the recent problems might be handiwork of a virus, it was too late for damage control. Well, in the process of damage control, system administrators were bleeding because the viruses had outwitted them big time. One fine day, the system administrator decided to try a different tactic against the virus and powered down all the computers except one. Then it was time to install an antivirus package and atleast decipher the mini civilization lurking inside the computers. First package was installed and he was ready to scan the computer. The moment "Start scan" button was clicked, the screen was filled with a list of atleast 100 viruses in different names and types. One minute into the scan, the software would abruptly stop and close itself. We tried starting the scanning process again a couple of times and everytime it ended in the same manner of abrupt closure. It was time to put the thinking hats even though evidence pointed towards a rogue virus closing the programs we were starting in the system. During the speculation process, a message box flashed in the screen "One antivirus found in this system..." Go figure!!!!

2006-03-23T08:12:00.000+05:00

DELAY

If internet works, blogger does not work
If blogger works, internet screws up

Having big time problem with my broadband connection. Simple things like email takes 1 hour at least.

2006-03-18T20:46:00.000+05:00

TRIP TO NILGRIS

Day - 2

According to my plan, the next day was allocated for a trip to Palani Hills. My hotel was right behind the long route bus stand and city bus stand. As luck would have it, the buses to Palani start from a place called Peelamedu, which was about 5kms away from the current location. During my ride to the new bus stand, one cannot miss the fact that all buses i.e. city and long distance buses were maintained in top-notch condition. When compared with Chennai buses, the chennai buses have a long way to catch up. As you can see my ride was a cool bus with DVD player. Journey took about three hours and the route went through towns of Udumalaipet and Pollachi. The fields in these towns are dotted several wind based power generation windmills. These areas have great wind movements as they are closer to the mountains some geographical effect. Anyway, this is not the time to dig in 10th grade geography books. During my ride, majority of these windmills were just sitting there without doing anything. Lack of wind movement I suppose. That was a lot of investment sitting there and poking fun at the companies that have invested in these windmills.

Temple town of Palani is a typical small town with a temple. The previous sentence does not make any sense, but you get the gist of it. As I started walking towards the hill, the crowd was humongous and kept growing every minute. Although I expected a small crowd, but never expected the massive throng going uphill. The picture proves what I am talking about. The actual reasons, which I came to know much later was, that particular day happened to be sashti as well as kirthigai. Even I don't know the meaning except it is a very auspicious day in the Hindu calendar. Closer to the foothills, I removed my shoes and started walking barefoot. Super heated concrete roads were hot and for the first few minutes I was literally dancing and jumping like a kangaroo. Taking the winch was an option, but I preferred to walk through the elephant trails. Trails were better maintained with benches to make pit stops and trees to provide shades. Picture on the right is the begining of the trail. The best part was to experience the scenic beauty as I slowly climbed my way to the top. It was evident the moment I reached the top that it is going to be a long wait to enter the temple.

2006-03-15T21:29:00.000+05:00

TRIP TO NILGIRIS

Day - 1

Had a nice break in Coimbatore. Attended a friend's wedding and roamed around the place just like that. The trip started on saturday morning at 6:15am and I boarded the Kovai Express. That was supposed to be a superfast express, but sadly it is not. The train slowed down several times for some reason or the other. Moreover, the lines from Chennai to Coimbatore had freight trains running on the same tracks. These freight trains had to be shunted into loop lines in order to let our supposedly superfast express to pass. As a railfan, I spent time watching these trains. Here is one such oil tanker freight train letting us pass in Salem area. The train journey had another sore point too. This time it is the ergonomics of chair cars. Indian railways must take a course on Ergonomics 101 and design the coaches accordingly. My body parts were aching towards the end of the journey.

Best part about the journey was the sceneries. Within half an hour after starting from Chennai Central, the entire landscape turned green. The rich soil became evident as farms and plantations of all sorts whizzed past throughout the rest of the journey. This picture of a rice paddy field speaks a thousand words about the natural beauty of that area. Moreover the mountains started rising up as we passed Salem and the difference in temperature could be felt in the air. I spent some time on the door hanging out of the compartment and enjoying the cool breeze after sultry days in Chennai.

Another aspect of traveling in day trains is the pantry car concept in Indian Railways. All passengers are forced to eat the crap these guys dish out. The only reprieve happened to be the few stops that train made. Being a superfast, it hardly stopped at few stations and even when the train did stop, it was not for more than a minute during the journey. Quality of food was the worst at its best I should say and I would advise people to either pack food from home or buy parcels at Chennai Central. It is not worth spending on the train.

My friend came to pick me up at the station and it was time to check in at the hotel. It was a long day without sleep and my body gave in for a couple of hours of deep sleep. After sunsett it was the last night of my friends bachelorhood and without much saying it was a party night. The next part of this journey will be updated in my next article. Enjoy another picture of the great Nilgiri mountain range and click on each picture to see a larger version.

2006-03-12T21:34:00.000+05:00

SCRATCY SCRATCH

Got any clue about what this post is going to be? Anyway there are some prerequisites to be completed before one continues with this article. The first one is that this article must be read only in a PC with Adobe Acrobat installed. Once you have searched for the software, please open any PDF document in your system. Now you are ready to read the rest of this article.

Couple of days ago, I was engrossed reading documentation of a software product, which was a big collection of PDF files. Completely engrossed in the document and looking for a small clue that will answer my wacky results, I suddenly feel a tap on my shoulder. It was the system administrator who was standing besides me and he posed a question, "What would you do if you feel itchy?" With a weird look in my face I replied, "Well, I would scratch, you dumbo". His next question took me by surprise which was "What would you do if the PDF document you are reading feels itchy, How would you scratch it?". Yes, this is a stupid question of Nth degree for which I did not have an answer. He then started to demonstrate the fine art of scratching a PDF file and here is the reply. "Place the cursor where scratching has to be done, for example in the second line and Click! Click! Click!.......on your left mouse button". I grabbed the water bottle next to me and and threw it in his direction, thank god there was no water in it. Please try scratching a PDF file and then bang your head against the table.

2006-03-04T06:47:00.000+05:00

GET-A-WAY

Off to Coimbatore this weekend to attend a friend's wedding. Also planning to hit Palani Temple, Marudhamalai and couple of other important places around Kovai. Will be back with pics and a travelogue.

2006-03-03T23:05:00.000+05:00

INTERVIEW

For a candidate preparing for interview, the interviewer is his ultimate obstacle before landing in the job. Consider a situation where the final obstacle proves to be an obstacle bigger proportions than expected. Ok, if the obstacle i.e. the interviewer proves to be hell bent on screwing your chances by posing tough questions, there are several ways to tackle the situation. On one such super tough interview, what kind of reaction you will give to the interviewer if the proceedings tell you that chances of making to the next round is almost zero. Here is a reply one guy gave to an interviewer half way through the interview process once he sensed that it is hopeless to continue beyond this point. In the telephonic interview, the interviewer was busy asking questions, the guy suddenly says "Ok, you can stop asking questions now. I am not interested in working with your company anymore....click".

2006-03-01T21:51:00.000+05:00

DOSA LAWS

Mom was out of town for a week and left me in charge of the kitchen. After staying alone for five years and cooking myself, this was an opportunity to prove my mettle. My task was simple, yet very complicated skill of making dosa, a crispy south indian delicacy. Over the process, I found out how making the perfect dosa is an art and skill that has to be mastered over time. Here is a list of universal laws for first timers entering the big bad world of dosa making.

1. The first dosa is always an uppuma.
2. Dosa is sort of round in shape but also elleptical.
3. Thickness of a dosa no matter how meticolously tried will be oothapam.
4. If the dosa looks cooked, it is actually half cooked.
5. If dosa looks half cooked, it is burnt.
6. Nostrils like to cheat you and a burnt dosa is identified only after flipping it.
7. Crispiness factor of a dosa is always soggy.
8. Scapegoats are the same people who make the dosa.
9. In the process of learning, others lives are made miserable.

Note to myself: Cooking maggi does not qualify for dosa making.

2006-02-28T22:24:00.000+05:00

TWO MARKETS, DIFFERENT PRIORITIES

"As idle brain is the factory of devil" or something like that is how an old saying goes. As I see it, the saying can modified into "An idle brain is the factory of crappy thoughts and even more crappy ideas". When a gang of unemployed people sit and chat about the prospects of landing up in a job, it is bound to bring up some interesting ideas. There are two markets in the world that juxtapose with each other, and this is especially true in the Indian context.

The first one is the "Job Market" (JM) and everybody knows what this is about. People looking for jobs and employers with openings are the sole players in this arena. Goals in this market are for the employers to "find the right candidate" and the employees to find the "best paying job". The second market is the "Marriage Market" (MM). Here, prospective grooms and brides are the players. It does not matter whether arranged or love styles of marriage are taken into account, but the aim is to get a groom and a bride to give consent for marriage. Here are the subtle differences between these markets and think about it.

JM: More experience will fetch you a job
MM: Experience will deter you from getting a wife

JM: Fake experience in your resume is good
MM: Even real experience is a big no no

JM: Freshers are not valued no matter how good they are
MM: Only freshers are valued for the very little they know of

JM: You try to add fake experience and get a job
MM: You try to remove real experience(if any) and get a wife

Only place where the markets seem similar
JM: Lie lie and lie about salary, roles, job, responsibilities in fetching the highest pay.
MM: Lie lie and lie about every damn thing and act like romeo to floor the girl and get the consent

"Too much time and too little work makes the mind come up with cranky ideas" - says me

2006-02-26T19:19:00.000+05:00

ACOUSTICAL ACCESSORIES

First, picture a bike. At this juncture, any bike with an engine, handle bar, seats and two wheels will suffice. It is time to be more specific and picture a Hero Honda Splendor bike. Just for your reference, a picture of that bike is attached to this post below.

For an average middle class family in India, the choices of personal transportation is limited to bikes. Moreover, for many families the bike is a stepping stone for their future entry level car. So, people go ga-ga over a new bike and personalize it according to the likes and budget. The coolness factor differs from person to person, which is usually dependent on taste. Here is peculiar situation where someone decides to deck the bike with different sorts of musical or noisy stuff, whichever is applicable. Here is the list

1. First and foremost there is company fitted horn that goes BEEP BEEP as usual.
2. A pocket radio fitted with 50 watt speakers on the front right under speedometer playing Suryan FM or Radio Mirchi I don't remember.
3. Indicator beeper that comes on and yells 'PEEP PEEP' when the indicator lights are turned on.
4. Brake chimer which goes 'PING PONG' whenever the brake pedal is pushed, especially the rear brake.
5. Neutral horn that wounds 'WEEEE' in a milder tone when the gear is in neutral.

Imagine if you are standing and hear all the sounds at once. It pretty much grabs your attention isn't it. My encounter with once such bike was today at a local shop. A barrage and mixture of all sounds listed above crawled up behind me and I turn around to find a sleek new bike as the center of attention. On top of all this disturbances, this guy is able to talk on his cell phone. There I saw beyond doubt one way of ending up in the hearing impaired section. Ah! The joys of noise pollution.

PS: Picture

2006-02-24T07:43:00.000+05:00

KIDS ASK THE DARNEST THINGS

Kid: Daddy! Daddy!
Dad: Yes dear
Kid: What is this (shows the number 11 in a paper)
Dad: That is eleven
Kid: What is this then (shows the number 21 in a paper)
Dad: That would be twenty one and why are you asking this?
Kid: Nothing dad, but why you are saying eleven instead of one-tea-one?
Dad: Doh! (simpsons style)

2006-02-23T08:07:00.000+05:00

HIGHLY SECURE PART DEUX

This is just an extension of the previous post. The security is not a threat anymore. A big chain with even a bigger lock now runs around the shock absorbers and the wheel frame. In this crazy situation, which my scooter is in right now, there lies an interesting question to be answered. How to stop the engine after starting it? Again, there happens to be an innovative solution for stopping running engines. Once the bike or scooter is parked, just close the exhaust muffler. Not just close it, but cover it tightly so that air / fume flow stops coming out of the muffler. It has to be manually done and the engine will sputter a couple of times before dying. It has become a routine to start the scooter, drive for a while, park it and walk back to the exhaust with a big cloth rag to stop the engine. Onlookers are glancing a wierd look at this "choke the engine to stop" method. Ah! the joys or riding a broken scooter.

2006-02-22T06:17:00.000+05:00

HIGHLY SECURE

This is not the security in terms of computer networks and hackers, but a simple security applied everyday by people for their personal modes of transport. Car security is a big issue and one could blow a hole in the wallet on things like remote locks, steering locks, brake locks, door locks, remote alert blah blah blah etc. For a humble bike i.e two wheeler owner, one has to be contended with the ignition switch and a front fork lock (if this is locked, one cannot turn the handlebar).

In my case this security measure is an oxymoron. Two days ago the fork lock broke and had to be contended with a safe feeling that nobody will hotwire and drive my scooter away. Early today, I inserted my key into the scooter's ignition switch and tried switching it 'ON'. Voila, the entire key started revolving 360 degrees and that is a sure sign that even ignition switch has breathed off its last breath. Now, after cursing my luck I was inspecting how to start the darned scooter and noticed that brake lights were on. How is that possible when the ignition switch is broken ? Ah! thats right, the ignition switch broke in the 'ON' position. Great news! because anyone who knows this little secret can walk in and take the scooter without even doing anything as if the scooter has been his own for a long time. So much for security measures and I am appointing a watchman until the lock is fixed. By the way, if the watchman steals it himself what to do? Damn it! Dumb security and dumb locks.

2006-02-19T07:29:00.000+05:00

MILESTONE

Just realized that this blog has crossed the second year anniversary. Ah! something to be happy about especially considering the fact that, this blog went through several phases of bloggers block. As I am writing this, this blog is going through one such phase because my block typicall starts with a question "To write or not to write and what to write?" and until I find something interesting to write, please bear with the slow pace of this blog.

2006-02-18T05:35:00.000+05:00

CRAZY

For an easy way to go crazy, follow this good piece of advice. "Just apply for H1 visa". The entire processing of answering queries is bound to make you bang your head against the wall or jump off a building or get yourself admitted in a mental asylum. Don't be surprised if you see me with a cracked forehead in the future ;).

2006-02-12T19:56:00.000+05:00

IS A NICE QUOTE

"In every problem, lies an opportunity"

A quote right out of the movie "Ocean's Twelve".

2006-01-30T22:03:00.000+05:00

BULB

Scene: In a professional office setup, imagine a typical small business.

Actors: Director of the company and a senior manager.

Act 1: The director is sitting in his room and looking busy. Actually he is playing solitaire in his PC. A sales representative enters the office and inquires about the manager.

Act 2: The receptionist is scared to disturb the director and sends the guy to senior managers office.

Act 3: Sales guy introduces himself "Sir, I am from Deutsche Bank and I would like to talk about our bank services to your company ". Since the senior manager is not concerned with finances, but with a good heart requests the guy to wait in his room.

Act 4: Senior manager now walks into directors room and says hello. The director without raising his eyes from the monitor, "What is the matter". Senior manager gives a brief about the sales representative in his room. The directors next question pops up within a nanosecond, "Is that a sales guy or a girl?". Our senior manager always talks the truth and says, "That's a guy sir".

Act 5: Director now slowly raises his head and says, "Then, why don't you talk to him for a while and send him away".

Act 6: A third person watching all this happening cracks up watching the shock on senior managers face.

2005-12-31T23:45:00.000+05:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Wish everyone a very happy and prosperous new year.

I tried to post exactly at 12:01am, but things never happen as it is planned right. It seems that the clock in blogger server is not tuned to indian time zone and hence the warped time in posting this.

2005-12-28T22:04:00.000+05:00

INDIAN OF THE YEAR

Here is a new initiative launched by NDTV. If my memory serves right, this is the first attempt to identify a person who reached the peak in their respective fields. The first year nominees are people from all walks of life like sports, politics, business, movies etc. My personal favorite from the list is Mr. Narayanamurthy. The result will be declared on December 30th. Go and cast your votes now.

Click here for more details.

2005-12-04T21:39:00.000+05:00

BLOGGERS MEET

This is a post long overdue. I had typed it, but it was the draft mode for a very long time. I went there to have a quick peek at the crowd and get a feel of at least one real bloggers meet. It was a great gathering of young and old from all walks of life. One surprising fact was the number of blog readers nearly equaled bloggers. This meet might be an initiative for them the start their own blog readers meets. A great meet and met lot of interesting people, but I sincerely regret that time was a great constraint on that day due to prior engagements. Here is a list of people I met

CV Raman link on my blogroll
Ravikumar link on my blogroll
Ganesh of rupya.com fame.
Kiruba link on my blogroll
Karthik of katchu crap fame.
Mithree
Jaleel
Mr.Partha

and a whole bunch of others, whose names I don't recall. It was really nice spending time with you all. Hope to meet everyone soon in the next bloggers meet.

2005-11-26T21:49:00.000+05:00

LMAO ADS

An interesting ad for Petronas Corporation, a huge Malaysian corporation. This ad is targeting the Indian population and it is just hilarious. Those who understand Tamil will enjoy this ad very well. If not, don't worry about language barriers and look out for the subtitles. Got this link via Kaps own Sambhar Mafia. Just a word of caution about the long download time before video starts to play.

Click here for the video

2005-11-25T21:15:00.000+05:00

JUST AN UPDATE

As the Kerala trip last weekend came to an end, another trip, which was unexpected happened. The second one took me to Bangalore, the garden city. A short trip spanning three days to meet age old buddies who will be leaving India pretty soon. Everything was planned and my hands were tied down. All I did was go from one place to another. So, I was tied up pretty much travelling for the past ten days and today happens to be the last and final day. Today, on my way back from Chennai Central to my house, I stopped at one of the platform book vendors. As I was browsing through the titles, this place appeared to be godsend and had an excellent collection. The cost is very reasonable on all books at Rs 50 for paperbacks and hardcover at Rs 100/150. I just pounced on the opportunity and grabbed the following in great condition of course.

1. Freakanomics by Steven Levitt & Stephen Dubner
2. Winning by Jack Welch
3. Monk who sold a Ferrari by Rohan Sharma
4. Harry Potter (Order of Phoenix) by JK Rowling.

I will post reviews once I am done reading the books. This tiny shop is located in a small alley behind the pedestrian subway. Well, the shop is located on the Central side of the main road. If you are walking from Park Station to Chennai Central, you will encounter this subway and cross the subway to get to the shop. That will be my regular book shop from now on and this guy scores great on cost and quality.

2005-11-15T23:11:00.000+05:00

LOOK WHO IS GIVING ADVICE

Read this article published in USA Today first. Browsing through my blogroll, I stumbled upon this article in Instantkaapi's website. The idea of a direct flight from US to India seems to be a good proposition. This particular paragraph caught my eye

.......Meeting the needs of Indian customers turned out to be one of several challenges. The airline could have racked up a large consulting bill to figure out its target market but instead obtained free advice from its employees. Members of the Indian Employees Resource Group, about 150 people mostly in management and information technology, advised executives on everything from promotions to cuisine......

American Airlines is thinking out of the box and scored bulls eye by consulting their "Indian" employees. The main reason being those 150 employees are the right customers for the product under consideration. Going by the current trend where customer is the king, the inputs from these employees will be implemented by the company in order to make this venture a commercial success.

A tailor made flight for the Indian audience eh? Sounds great news, but not appealing for me on just one factor, the long arduous 16 hour journey. My body cannot handle the sitting position continuously for 16 hours straight, which is practically an invitation for bum sores and back pain for the next few days. There must be a big demand for Chicago - Delhi direct flights, or else these new routes would not be created by airlines struggling to come out of bankruptcy.

American air carriers have missed the entire Indian sub-continent for a long time. European carriers were just too eager to grab this piece of pie. Only code share services used to operate between carriers, which in my opinion is not a profitable venture. Off late, one by one are waking up and adding services to India. Delta already has a direct flight to Chennai (tie up with Air France). I know this fact because I flew in that plane a few months back. With ticket prices in the US - India routes touching $1700 plus during peak season and $1200 plus during off season, the airliners are ready to rake in some profit. As a consumer, I am worried about the prices. If the market forces come into play, new competition must bring down the prices. Let the party begin and the ticket prices drop and I am keeping my fingers crossed. If the market forces indeed work, instead of traveling once every two years on unpaid vacation leave, I can enjoy the holiday season at home without any hassles.

2005-11-13T22:52:00.000+05:00

WHAT TO AND WHAT NOT TO

Nowadays, I feel that this blog seriously lacks creative impetus. That is a refined way of saying that I am just becoming a lazy bum. Several times, I login to blogger and start an article. That pretty much turns out to be the end of the post too. Is that a lack of subject matter to write I wondered for a while. But, it happens to be the lack of topics to write about. Anyway, I am embarking on my next trip to Kerala this week. I hope to have some great experiences to share with you.

2005-11-01T01:00:00.000+05:00

HAPPY DEEPAVALI EVERYONE

Deepavali a.k.a Diwali: Festival of lights that commemorates good triumphs over evil.

Here is my first deepavali celebration in Madras after a long stint away from home. That was close to six years I should say. The gap has pretty much taken the gist out of the festival of lights for me. Eventhough an air of joyous occasion is around, I am just a silent spectator to the entire deepavali hoopla. Everyday as I hop on to the suburban train, I noticed that half the population is going to times square of Madras, hereby affectionately called as T-Nagar. What is the reason for such an analogy you might wonder. Take a walk down Ranganathan street and Usman road, you will see that old form of advertisement has given way to neons and mercury vapor lamps all over. None of the traders will go easy during this shopping season and the word "discount" is used liberally in all shops, which indicates that shopping season is underway.

One can find people from all walks of life here busy shopping. The kids look in awe at fireworks shops and pester their parents to buy the biggest and baddest of them all. Wives pester their husbands for a great sari or jewelry to beat the previous years gift. On a sidenote, I think the recent spike in commodity prices in gold can be directly attributed to Indians buying gold. Guys trying to impress their girlfriends with expensive gifts and the story goes on. At the end of the day, one can easily spot families that went on a shopping spree with their huge store bags. I did not indulge in shopping with a great zeal, but for the sake of tradition rummaged through the crowds to buy some goodies.

During my school days, deepavali was "THE" festival during the entire year. The kid with maximum fireworks scored more points than others and we went on big analysis sessions, where cricket and movies took a backseat. The company, type of cracker, special effects etc were discussed in detail. Buying process involved the biggest budgeting analysis one can ever comprehend and every rupee was stretched to its limits. During college days, the cracker mania slowly died down. Now, I have rekindled the spirit and bought a modest collection of fireworks for diwali. The prices have gone up indeed, but not to such an extent that fireworks are out of reach to the common man.

Who can forget the sweets during this season. Every year, I used to sit back and wonder how diwali was celebrated at home salivating on sweets that I missed the most. Now it is payback time. Pretty much I have hoarded the refrigerator with stuff like jelabi, badhusha, ladoos, burfi, gulab jamun etc. Gotta savor this prized catch for the next few weeks.

This is the time best spent with family and relatives and I can partially do this because relatives are friends have moved to different cities. It will be just another day and I will sit glued in front of the TV for diwali special programs. Reality will strike back pretty soon and you can see me staring at SAP screen afterwards.

2005-10-27T19:48:00.000+05:00

IN THE MIDDLE OF

Phew! what a week it was. The first storm of this season came to the city. It made a clear and bold statement that "nature rulez" and proceeded towards andhra. It is spreading the same message to all stated on the eastern coast. This was indeed a great relief to the entire city in terms of temperature drop and water situation. I saw the rain water harvesting at work for the first time in my house and the ground water has risen up a lot. Madras cooled down a with the latest rains and I was glad for one day I did not use a hand kerchief to wipe off sweat. Electricity was also turned off, which made me spend the entire day looking at the dark sky and intensity of downpour.

The city faced several problems during the onslought, but proactive steps taken by the government indeed saved the day. For most part, the public transportation did not stop completely, a commendable job by public transportation workers. Stories of people stranded in office buildings did not happen. Flooding was indeed a major problem for many areas, but authorities worked around the clock to plug the holes. Few canals and lake embankments burst in northern parts of chennai leading to waist deep water. The surprising part was chief ministers visit during the peak rain to see government machinery in action. There were several shortcomings and complaints and I noticed a few holes where authorities screwed up big time.

One such instance was indeed funny. A fire and rescue truck was pressed into service. Its job was to pump out water from the basement area of an apartment complex. I noticed about knee deep water stagnation in that area. The truck was doing its job, but the outlet of this pump was inserted into a nearby road subway. This road subway was already flooded 90% trapping several vehicles in it. I even saw a bus caught in that flooding inside the subway. Municipal workers were draining water out of this subway. Great level of communication between two government departments indeed.

At this juncture, I would give one thumbs up and one thumbs down to the current government. A tumbs up for proactive steps taken in desilting canals and strengthening storm water drains, channels proved constructive and reduced water logging to a great extent. A thumbs down because help was slow to reach badly affected areas, which was very few by the way and lack of coordination among authorities in helping affected areas.

2005-10-17T21:35:00.000+05:00

PRODUCT SUBSTITUTE

I was and still am an addict to Pringles Sour Cream and Onion flavor chips. Due to circumstantial constraints, my munching sessions had to be replaced with other local varieties of chips. At last I found a close substitute to my favorite munchie. This one does not resemble a potato chip or for that matter happens to be in a different snack category. Our closest match happens to be Britannia's 50 50 Chaska Maska biscuits. The biscuits are towards the sweeter side and have a generous serving of buttery stuff. It does not match 100%, but I am very much satisfied with the taste. Now, I can continue with my slightly modified munchie sessions.

2005-10-16T06:37:00.000+05:00

GHOST COMMENTS

Each morning it is a ritual to check my mailbox, and off late it makes me happy. I would be happy because the e-mail notification feature for comments would show atleast a dozen new comments in my blog. Yippee! I would dash and start reading them one by one, and that is when a sense of disappointment sets in. Majority of those comments turn out to be spam for stock tips, mortgage, loans, viagra and add whatever you can think of here. With a stern face, I delete all the mails and keep cursing these morons until I go to my blog. The reason being that spam comments ought to be deleted from my blog too, which is twice the amount of work compared to e-mail spam. Atleast there I pressed delete button once, whereas I have to search for these comments in each post and delete them manually. Once I see my blog, it is almost impossible to spot those comments. It is weird, but a clever tactic deployed by the spammers, which is really intriguing me to the core. I check comment section of all articles and even archives, meanwhile thinking

"E-mail notification feature on this blog says that some bozo left a crappy advertisement comment on my blog. If I check the blog, the comment is playing hide and seek with me"

After several attempts, I failed miserably at this trivial hide and seek game an come out with zero spam comments. These spammers now employ ghosts to frustrate people outta their wits. This everyday morning saga now has reached its heights, but I don't know how to block these buggers.

2005-10-12T11:21:00.000+05:00

THE GREAT WASTAGE

Americans waste yellow pumpkins in the name of Halloween.
Indians waste white pumpkins in the name of Vijayadasami.

It is these rituals that keep the business cycle going for farmers ;).

2005-10-05T07:47:00.000+05:00

IMPACT OF 4-STROKE

The number of vehicles on the roads has exploded beyond my wildest imagination. Madras traffic was crazy a few years ago, but now it has become hyper crazy with a load of weed. I cannot even find a good word to describe the current traffic conditions. As I walk on the road, wonderful sounds from blaring horns and underfinished exhaust mufflers causes a numb sensation on my eardrums. On top of that, add a nice wonderful weather of 90 plus degrees (F). One can easily imagine the current state of affairs with respect to traffic in Chennai.

The rapidly expanding economy is visible with glittering models and most of them are new ones. Everyone is going for a new automobile, causing a big dent in the second hand market. That will be a different topic altogether. Coming back to our main topic, among the various options available in the two-wheeler market i.e. bikes, scooters and mopeds have the highest growth rate. The reason being cars are still a luxury, but bikes are affordable to the common man for basic transportation. Recent mixture of models available from various manufacturers also sport great leaps in design and technology when compared with the few I have encountered years ago. I have seen all bikes from companies like Bajaj, TVS, Escorts, Kinetic etc using 2-stroke engines and the only company to include 4-stroke engines was Hero Honda.

Within a short span of time around five years, the entire two-wheeler market has been overhauled and adopted the 4-stroke engine as its standard workhorse. It is really a good change with respect to several factors. The most noticeable change is in the pollution levels. Although the vehicular traffic in Madras is chaotic to the nth degree, the new engines have very little or close to zero exhaust fumes. This is great news because we can still see our city minus the thick smog. The second front where consumers gain is the mileage, where the mileage ranges from 50kms to 75kms per liter. With petrol/gas selling at Rs 48 per liter ($4.19 per gal), a mileage of 50 kms or above per liter is a great steal. Another news that our government is taking a positive step towards eliminating 2-stroke engines altogether. Within a year or so Green Tax will be implemented for all vehicles using old engines. Owners of old vehicles after the tax is passed would be shelling around Rs.500 per year to keep the vehicle fit to ply in our roads. This will just accelerate the rate at which people are turning in their existing vehicles at dealers and buying new ones. A great positive change, which has to be duplicated throughout India.

PS: Small info about engines in general. The older 2-Stroke engines do not burn fuel properly and hence the fumes and low mileage. Whereas the 4-Stroke engine burns fuel efficiently and improves the mileage, which in turn uses less motor oil for lubrication too.

2005-10-02T08:57:00.000+05:00

KRAZY Q's

1.
Scene: Inside one of the biggest hydel power stations in India. A senior electrical engineer is seriously explaining the concepts of penstock and generator. How they are used in hydro electric generation.

Question: Sir, what will happen if a fish happens to jump into the generator through the penstock, will it die or be alive on the other side?
Answer: %&@@#$ ^&(#@#$%

2.
Scene: The same person above showing the rotating shaft of a live generator.

Question: Sir, what is the maximum speed of this generator.
Answer: Constant speed at 5000rpm.
Question: Then, what is the minimum speed sir?
Answer: !%$%##& @@@#%^^&

3.
Scene: A coal burining thermal power plant, where students are again taken through a walk of the power plant.
Question: Sir, the power we get in bangalore is it thermal power or hydel power?
Answer: (totally pissed off tone) When you go home tommorow, climb the nearest electricy pole and touch one of the live wires. If it is cold, then you get hydel power and if it is hot, you get thermal power.

4.
Scene: An examiner wants to ask a couple of questions about the concept of turbines. A neat drawing of the model turbine is diasplayed on the board.
Question: Now, the turbine if it is rotating at 5000 rpm, tell me the speed of turbine shaft?
Answer: (after thinking for a few minutes) Maybe around 1000 to 1200 rpm sir.

PS: Incidents came up during a coffee chat with my friends

2005-10-01T09:08:00.000+05:00

ROMANTIC SPOTS

What comes to your mind after reading the title. As the mind wanders about romantic getaways like exotic beaches, hill resorts etc, just pause for a second. This is about romantic spots in Madras. What are the best places to take your girl/boy friend and spend the entire day coo chee cooing? Marina beach undoubtedly comes first in the list followed by Besant nagar beach. Apart from these two beaches, there are a dozen parks to escape the city traffic. Can you think of any other location other than these two. Well, here comes the new discovery. The third favorite place for "lovers" to hangout seems to be railway stations. After mini research on this topic of observing people, the statement is indeed true. Kodambakkam, Mambalam, Tambaram, Pallavaram and all stations in the middle feature couples everywhere. The next time if you are around Madras, do visit one of the stations and take a local train. Observe the crowd for a few minutes in each station and everything becomes clear. The next big question is "Why?" one has to sit in extreme heat under asbestos roof sweating profusely for hours, that too on a stone or steel bench that conducts heat better than anything else. That question needs more time to be answered, until then remember to visit some of the best romantic spots of this city.

2005-09-29T21:04:00.000+05:00

READERS DIGEST

Truly a great magazine in my opinion. Couple of days back, I was browsing through some of my old books and magazines in the shelf. That is when I stumbled upon a neat collection of articles from Readers Digest neatly bound and preserved under a huge pile of dust. That was a big collection from my uncle's days dating back to 1980's. The best articles, or the articles that I prefer to read first are the humor columns like humor in uniform, life is like that, all in a days work etc. Moreover, the magazine always invites readers to send their stories not for free, but for a good amount of change in our pockets. With dollars hanging in front of my eyes, which is a good enough motivator for me, I wrote a small incident that happened in our school. Now, if you are curious to know whether my article made it to Readers Digest? Here is the answer: Yes, the article made it to their office. But, the speed at which my article entered the office, it also found its way to the official trash bin. So, a reproduction goes like this....

It was the week after mid-term exams in our school. All my classmates in 12th grade including myself had performed miserably in the physics exam. We were waiting nervously for our physics master to distribute the answer sheets when our totally aggravated teacher walks in. Usually he is a strict person with stern looks, today is walking with a big smile in his face. He scans the entire class and looks at the future of India and nods in disappointment. He then starts a big lecture about importance of physics, exams, scores, college, future blah blah blah blah and we dozed of as usual. Without any linkage, he suddenly brings up the topic of alchemists during medieval times in europe and describes in great detail about the quest for elusive Philosophers Stone. He continues about the processes used during early days and brings out an extreme example, which goes like this "One alchemist started boiling urine to convert it into gold. But, this process gave him phosphorous instead of the precious metal. So, dear students, what is the moral of the story?" We were clueless as usual and had blank face when he interrupts and exclaims, "Phosphorous was discovered in the lavatory, not in a laboratory".

2005-09-22T21:31:00.000+05:00

DA SALUT

A primer for new comers to chennai - How to greet people also strangers also associates also government officers also every damn person on the road?

If you are in Madras, there is an untold, but subtle way of greeting people. One can easily identify a true blooded madarasi by the way he greets people. Don't confuse this with our traditional Namaste / Vanakkam. New comers to this city may not have noticed this, but please make sure you incorporate this into your lifestlye at the earliest.

Main rule to be followed: When you are walking on the road, waiting for a bus or wasting time in local tea shop, the first unwritten rule is to stare at people. Not an ordinary stare, but the eyes must come out as if you have been suffering from constipation for past three days. Now, when you meet someone, how do you greet the other person? Well, that is the objective of this blog, so follow the steps exactly as prescribed.

1. Bend slightly to the front, an angle of of 20 degrees is fine.

2. Extend your right hand with palm facing the other person. Not any person on the road, the person your want to greet.

3. Now, bring the back of your palm close to your nose with middle finger almost touching the nose.

Now, you are free to say "Allo Saar", "EEnna baa", "Vankkam baa" etc etc. This process is essential before you utter any greeting phrase and called da salute and please practice it and perfect the posture. Care should be taken to finish da salut in 2 seconds in order not to offend any madarasi.

2005-09-20T18:19:00.000+05:00

MOBILE CRACK A PHONY

Phew!! the mobile market has indeed exploded with varieties, varieties and a whole lot more varieties. Everyday, a new mobile handset is launched by some company somewhere with some new feature. Moreover, these cell phone service operators have exclusive arrangements, when dealing with some of the latest handsets. Among all this commotion, there are a couple of things to be aware of before you are next in line to get the latest tiny shiny snazzy ultra cool piece of electronic wizardry. First, one important thing to be noted is that cell phones primarily operate based on global standards namely GSM and CDMA. Between these two standards, GSM managed to edge out as the leading standard of service provider all over the world. It is pretty easy to identify a GSM based handset. If a handset has the slot for the SIM card, then it is a GSM handset. Don’t worry; this blog is not about the technical functionalities behind cell phone operations.

So, does that mean if you purchase a GSM handset (read mobile phone) in one corner of the world, whether the same handset can be used anywhere a GSM operator is located? The answer to that question is Yes and No. Theoretically any handset will work anywhere as long as a valid SIM card is present. But, in the real world it is not always the case. Here comes the concept of “Locks” in cell phones. There are two types of locks and the basic strategy behind this is to force a customer to use a particular handset with a particular cell phone operator. Unknowingly, this lands the consumer into trouble, who thinks that phones can be used globally or at least between two different service providers.

The first type of lock is called the “SIM Lock”, which is a software lock. This is easy to remove and all you need is a 16-digit key and the exact process to remove this lock step-by-step. Manufacturers are cautious here and even a small mistake in the unlocking process can lock your phone permanently. If your cell phone works now, then it is fine. But, this is only the first layer and even though your sim lock is removed, there is another layer.

Now comes the more detailed lock, which is called operator lock. They are widely implemented by all cell phone operators, especially the ones that give you mobile for dead cheap rates or practically free. “Operator locks” are hardware locks, which can be removed only by knowledgeable personnel. The process involves removing the main circuit board and chips apart and removing the lock manually. Also, the software module contained within the EPROM chip has to be wiped clean and new software has to be installed. The sad part is that this service is not friendly to the wallet with a heck a lot of risks attached. First the warranty card dumps itself into the trash can once the circuit is meddled with. Then our repairman will look as if he never saw a cellphone in his life if the repairs decide to screw themselves up. So, it is a risky proposition that has to be handled carefully.

Now, the question is that such locks will affect whom? Here is a small guideline to be followed

1. Are you buying mobile from a cell phone operator (Vodaphone, T-Mobile, Verizon, NTT DoCoMo etc), it does not matter whether it is Americas, Europe, Asia or wherever, you have to wary of all types of locks.

2. Lets say you go for a nice vacation to Dubai or Singapore and you are attracted to a mobile phone, which is dead cheap. Your mind is wandering and your hubby gave the final promotion to buy it and you are close to picking it up. Word of caution, double check, triple check, quadra check, penta check with the dealer for locks. If possible ask them to remove it in front of you.

On a final note, my GSM Nokia 6800 fell into the above trap and right now under repairs and hence a little piece of advice to everyone on the hunt for a mobile phone now.

2005-09-10T20:32:00.000+05:00

HOW TO PLAN?

On an auspicious day, the mother handed a basket of flowers to her kid. She then asked the kid to decorate the deities in the puja room. "Darling, place one flower on top of these god and goddess pictures, and make sure you do not miss out on any one OK".

The kid picks up the basket and nods as if he understood everything and starts placing flowers on the pictures. The kid picks up the first picture and it happens to be Lord Balaji [God of wealth] and places a flower on the picture. Mother was curious about this act. "Dear, why are you keeping flower for lord balaji first"? Prompt comes a reply, "Oh mummy, that is how we get a lot of money for our family".

With a smile, she observed her child now keeping a flower on Goddess Lakshmi's [Goddess for wealth] picture. Mother inquires again, "Now why you chose Lakshmi devi dear?". The kid turns around and says, "Oh mama, that is my backup plan".

2005-09-03T06:52:00.000+05:00

OUTTA TOWN AGAIN

Going to Bangalore for a couple of days. Will be back with another report. I see some faces staring at this screen with "Oh no, not again" look. Don't worry, I will come up with something creative other than a travelogue.

2005-09-02T11:22:00.000+05:00

TRAVELOGUE

Part 4: Pondicherry and back.

The drive from Kumbakonam to Pondicherry has one of the worst roads in the entire trip. The main reason for underdevelopment is the route itself. This road passes through numerous hamlets and fields. Though the scenery is pristine, the bumps were hard on our backs and butts. If the very same road touched major towns, one can easily expect a two-lane highway. When we reached Pondicherry, it was close to five in the evening. A barge-in & barge-out strategy was adopted from now on at all stops. It was my first visit to this ashram, which is located in one of the best localities of Pondicherry. Beautiful decorations around the resting area of the mother is one of the highlights in this ashram. Maintenece of the house, facilities and meditation area are handled very well. The biggest building in that block belongs to “Counselor general of France”. It looks like France still harbors a special sentiment towards this former colony.

Our drive back from Pondicherry to Chennai was through the ECR (East Coast Road). Initial descriptions from my friends gave an impression of an autobahn. My images were shattered once we entered the actual road after paying a hefty toll of Rs. 47. Couple of good plus points are the reflective markers, signboards etc and emergency help booths every couple of kilometers. The traffic was mild on this road due to the time of our journey and we were able to clock very good speeds in this road. There is a lot of scope for improvement. I am perturbed by the fact that many designers are just clueless on what they are doing especially when it comes to infrastructure projects. Certain areas have blind spots that are terrifying and in some areas, the merging traffic and parked vehicles are spaced just inches apart. Another crappy issue was the toll itself. Toll is collected only for cars and light vehicles. Two wheelers are completely out of jurisdiction, which is another stupid idea. Charge a minimal amount from two wheelers because they too are using the same infrastructure and regain the investment faster. Moreover the proportion of two-wheeler traffic is more that other vehicles combined. Anyway, by the time we hit the sacks, it was around 10 pm. I was all set to start Monday with a smile.

My initial idea before starting this trip was to be a "shutterbug" for two full days. As luck would have it, camera was not allowed in a few temples. In the temples that allowed, we did not have enough time to shoot pictures. Also, the camera became a battery guzzler overnight and we had to buy at least a dozen for our first day. Most of the stores did'nt have a clue about alkaline batteries. After clicking pictures in Tanjore, the camera started malfunctioning and I just wounded up my experiments with photography. I came to a conclusion that Murphy did not frame his so called laws. Instead, he is one sadistic moron who took a pleasure of coming up with statement at others irritations. This trip gave a good picture of interior Tamil Nadu. When I undertake a similar trip next time, planning would be one of the most important steps. Until then, enjoy the beautiful sunset on the backwaters bridge on the ECR.

2005-09-02T06:40:00.000+05:00

TRAVELOGUE

Part 3: Tanjore – Kumbakonam

We were awake on sunday even before the rooster and made quick dash to the car. Our trip towards Kumbakonam started early morning around 6:30am. Initially the trip was planned with just two cities in mind and planning was done accordingly. We discovered later that our drive towards Kumbakonam would take us on a route right through Tanjore city. As we were cruising past the big temple in Tanjore, a small itch about clicking a couple of pictures. The game plan was to stop the car, take the pictures and leave within five minutes. The moment car was parked in front of Tanjore Brihadeeshwara temple, a sudden change of plans. Then, the entire party decided to go inside and participate in the early morning puja ceremony. This is another famous temple from Chola period. It is devoted to Shiva, the destroyer among the trinity. One specialty of this temple is the way its top dome is constructed. The entire top dome is made up of one big granite rock, which makes us wonder about the architectural skills during those ages. Since the temple is under the management of ASI (Archeological Society of India), the maintenance is a notch better than other temples. Outer walls protecting the temple’s inner compound and the moat surrounding it are the only two areas where improvement has to be made. The authorities maintain inner compounds very well, and this is another popular spot where foreigners visit this temple for its architectural beauty. It was a great experience to visit at the majestic temple after a gap of nearly 15 years.

On our drive from Tiruchy to Kumbakonam, we encountered several trucks carrying equipment for wind power generation (both turbine blades and erecting towers). Also, somewhere along this highway, we saw a fabrication unit that manufactures the foundation and towers upon which the actual turbine and blades rest. Just by looking at the count, it seems like several people are installing wind based power generators for their own private use. Local utility company TNEB (Tamil Nadu Electricity Board) implemented a wind based power generation farm in the southern districts. The success seems to be spreading towards Nilgiris because the trucks that I encountered were heading towards Udumalipet, a suburb of Coiambatore.

After spending a couple of hours in Tanjore, we were back on track and reached Kumbakonam around 10. My first impression about this little town is the alarmingly huge number of temples densely packed within the borders. If Tamil Nadu has an apt slogan called “Land of Temples”, then Kumbakonam would take the title as capital of the state hands down. This is one city where one stumbles upon temples every few yards. Moreover these temples are not small and dingy ones, one the contrary they are huge and well maintained. The sun was at its peak as we started the journey around Kumbakonam. We had very little time to spare and hence had to be quick everywhere we stopped. I pretty much lost count and info about temples in this town because we pretty much stopped at five different temples within a gap of three hours. As I got bored in one of the temples, I ventured towards the temple pond. That was the first temple pond in my entire journey that was clean to a certain extent. It was time to feed the fishes in this pond with the usual meal, which would be puffed rice.

Time just flew by and it was around 2 pm. We had to start our journey back home and we started contemplating on the return route. Out of the blue, an idea stuck about the option of going to Pondicherry and visiting Aurobindo ashram before heading towards Chennai. Without much afterthought, we started the next leg of our journey towards Pondicherry.

2005-08-29T18:04:00.000+05:00

TRAVELOGUE

Part 2: Around Tiruchy

Our guesthouse was located in the outskirts of the town. Saturday morning greeted us with a clear sky and cool hard breeze from the fields. Not to forget that it was the Tamil calendar month of Aadi. A saying in Tamil about the uniqueness of this month, when translated to English goes like this "In the month of Aadi, the winds can even sweep a rock off the ground", and we literally experienced that. Around 9 am, the process of visiting temples in and around Tiruchy started. Our first stop was at a small village called Thirupattur. Driving from Tiruchy, it took us around one hour to reach this Shiva temple. This temple also houses one of the very very few Brahma shrines in the world. If someone is interested in knowing the fact about the lack of brahma temples, post a comment or send me an email. The temple was built during the Chola period, which was around 900 - 1300 AD. The beauty of the temple is the way natural light is used to illuminate the sanctum sanctorum of the temple. Priest switched off all the lights and demonstrated this unique feature. Roads leading to this village are very narrow and at the most one can only expect one lane. Since the temple has not been officially taken under the control of Hindu Heritage and Endowment Ministry, the temple is under a big infrastructure and financial crunch. We contributed towards installation of UPS system and proceeded towards our next stop, which was Samayapuram.

Samayapuram is a small town on the outskirts of Tiruchy, which is famous for a Devi temple. We noticed heavy security around the temple and a casual inquiry revealed that Governor of Pondicherry was on his way to visit. The police had stopped all devotees and were waiting for the VIP to arrive. Another speciality of Tamil culture is the importance of the month Aadi given to Devi / Shakthi shrines. The crowd was enormous and we decided to visit another temple and come back after a while. The next stop was Ujjaini temple, another small temple in the vicinity of Tiruchy. The specialty of this temple is that according to history, Pandavas from Mahabharata worshipped the Shakthi in this temple before their battle with Kauravas. After spending a brief moment here, we headed back to Samayapuram where the scene was a lot better. After a quick worship session, we headed out as the tummies started to grumble.

We headed back to the guesthouse for lunch and a quick nap. The second leg of our journey started around 4pm and our next stop in the itinerary was Srirangam. This is one of the biggest and grandest temples in entire South India. There are seven rectangular concentric compounds, covering more than a few hundred acres and the architecture is simply marvelous. Recently, the temple trust painted all the gopurams i.e. towers and the feeling of old architecture is completely lost. Although it looks good, the old world charm is what attracts a lot of tourists. The temple was swamped with pilgrims and quiet a few foreigners. This temple is dedicated to Lord Vishnu, who plays the role of protector among the trinity. It took us around half an hour to enter the temple and wait another couple of hours before we could enter the sanctum sanctorum. By the time we came out of the temple, it was dark and we had to wind up our tour. Before winding our tour, we stopped at another small village temple, where my buddy's parents have a tradition of visiting that temple every year. Our itinerary was literally packed for Sunday and hence we made a quick dash to the guesthouse to catch up on sleep.

2005-08-29T17:48:00.000+05:00

TRAVELOGUE

Part 1: Madras (Chennai) - Tiruchy

Lying on the sofa and watching the idiot box, and the mind was as usual wandering about “what to do” during the weekend. Being a lazy bum that I am, after a few permutations and combinations of activities available, all the choices were rejected and my decision to stay home and watch more TV was voted in. Suddenly my cell phone alerted me of an incoming call. It was my friend who invited me for a trip to Tiruchinapalli and Kumbakonam. I was reluctant at first and tried everything in my power to evade the trip and continue lazing around. As he started dangling goodies in front of me, which were indeed hard to resist and I agreed in a jiffy.

Due to a very short notice, I had to pack bags and leave within a couple of hours, which means I did not prepare anything. First leg of our journey started from Chennai to Trichy on Friday. The driving time was estimated to be around five hours without pit stops taken into consideration. Our car was a maruti zen for the rest of our trip. For sightseeing within the cities, a Tata Sumo was at our service. We started around 4pm from my house and left the congestions of the city after Tambaram. We took the main highway NH45 (National Highway 45) that heads towards south, which also would take us straight to our destination. The roads have been developed very well by NHAI (National Highway Authority of India). The four lane highways with service lanes for slow moving traffic at major towns helped us clock 80kmph on average and at times touching 110kmph often. Driving discipline has gone a notch up I should say. Most of the car and truck drivers are sensible on the roads, whereas the bus drivers and a host of others are monkeys behind a steering wheel. Around Chengulpet, the bye pass road that was under construction when I left has been completed. The second stretch of the highway from Chengulpet to Dindivanam also was a tolled four-lane highway. The best part about this stretch was the availability of rest areas with facilities for eating, sleeping, nature calls etc. All the rest areas were termed as “truck stops” and most of them were towards the tail end of construction and slated to be functional towards the end of this year.

After crossing Dindivanam, the it was the usual roads and now the scary part was the pedestrians and humans darting across the roads. Couple of interesting observations here in this stretch. I first noticed John Deere harvesters on the fields and roads. Harvester is one massive machine that can harvest and separate rice from the stalk in one process. The second observation was the alarmingly huge number of trucks carrying sugarcane. Seems like it is the harvest season and looking at the number of sugarcanes lying around on the roads, it is obvious that the current year witnessed a copious growth. As the night fell, the scenery merged with darkness and watching out of the window was not an option any more. We reached Tiruchinapally a.k.a Tiruchy around 9pm, which was pretty close to our estimates. We met our contact, a family friend of my buddy who had arranged for our stay in a local guesthouse. The next day was earmarked for trips around Tiruchy.

2005-08-19T17:44:00.000+05:00

BTBB

Big Time Blogger’s Block. At least half a dozen articles have been affected in this process. The thinking process just stopped short after typing the title and a couple of lines. It totally got to me unexpectedly and it feels like I bumped into a glass door. Need some time to recuperate and get back into the groove.

2005-08-10T19:05:00.000+05:00

SAVE ELECTRICITY

Haven't you heard this phrase often. Electricity is a precious resource, please don't waste it etc etc. People are worried because energy bills follow the principle "i will always go north" and try to conserve some. That is good for us, i.e. consumers, but not for the other kind, which is the main focus of this blog. There are a zillion clowns on Indian roads, who are implementing this phrase word for word. Traffic on Indian roads anytime can be best defined as chaotic to the Nth degree. It also happens that the word traffic discipline is a word conveniently left out in the dictionary. These zillion drivers who hesitate to turn on the lights while driving and conserve electricity, not during daytime, but during night.

It is way past dark and the traffic is in its usual mood "chaotic", suddenly out of the blue jumps a motorbike and then a moped. They were fighting with each other for space without lights moreover on the wrong side of the road. Behind those two was a loud sound of horn honking to glory. A closer inspection around that area revealed an auto who is trying to push aside the two wheelers. Remember that all these are happenning without any one of them with their lights on, and they are using mine as a guiding beam. Then bright flashes from the back and as I turn around, it is the turn of a truck right behind me indicating to move. Where did this come from I wondered? I show a sign to the truck driver that if I move any more, I will become a sandwich and wait for others to figure out a way in the dark. Among the chaos, the only functioning life was mine and out of the blue appears two big horns. It is funny to see a big buffalo standing before everybody and blending with the dark night. Buffalo gets an exception because it was walking and testing the breaks and horns of all vehicles on the road. After wiggling my way out of the mess, I took a break at a nearby tea stall. Saw many more bozos with the following categories of attitudes lights functional and not working, non functional but not working, busted why to turn on, if headlight works no taillight, reflectors are enough other vehicle will have lights, torchlight would suffice, street light is enough, i will hold candlelight on one hand etc. Ignore the places where real things have to be implemented for change and dumbos are still thinking that they are conserving.

2005-08-05T12:29:00.000+05:00

FIRST ROAD TRIP

Off to Tiruchy, Madurai and Kumbakonam for the weekend. Travelogues to follow.

2005-08-04T18:18:00.000+05:00

UMM HMMM

What does that mean? Try pronouncing it and think about its meaning. Just like the previous post, this will land me in trouble one day. It might be sooner or later, but for sure it will. Based on where you are, the term can mean either Yes or No. It so happens that it is a customary yes in US and a big no in India. In every conversation, without realization I keep muttering umm hmm as acknowledgement. Couple of times I got cold stares for refuting every sentence in the conversation, which thankfully never escalated any further. For sure this two syllable word will land me in trouble while giving interviews. Before it is too late, gotta tune into the Indian slang soon enough.

2005-08-03T07:49:00.000+05:00

RUNNING FROM POST TO PILLAR

This term is used in a different context usually. My experiences in searching for toilets can be best described in the above manner. After a lengthy stay abroad, I am very much used to the concept of restrooms locations. Walk into any store, gas station, restaurant, shops, you name the location etc have a built in facility for nature call issues. The word "Restroom" is the politically correct term for toilets in USA. It is a mystery behind the origins of this term. Jay Leno mocked the usage in one of his shows about kicking back and relaxing in a restroom when business is taken care of. Back to the main discussion, I got accustomed to this concept of restrooms everywhere. Oh! it is a totally different scenario here in madras, rather should I emphasize that it is the exact opposite. Not once, but several times I was caught in sticky situations and had a tough time managing here. This type of running is of the "tough" variety and pretty much will take a long time to adjust to the new environment. Hope this digestive system takes cue of the suffering and sets back into the original cycle.

2005-08-01T21:32:00.000+05:00

IF ONLY

Still wondering how life would be if there was a provision for Ctrl + Alt + Del......

2005-07-28T11:18:00.000+05:00

LONG OVERDUE

In this age, where technology is ingrained, it is a sad situation that technology is the main hindrance for my short sabbaticals. Couple of my travelogues are in the home computer, which ceases to have a steady mind. The cranky computer will have something or the other screwed up everytime it is started. My laptop is sadly out of the loop with one article. Even if I type the articles in my laptop, the only mode of data transfer now is the USB drive. Everybody else is still using the good old floppy disk technology. Forget the cranky computer at home, to my utter dismay the browsing centers are ill equipped to accept that little device. At the end of the day, the incompatibility of technology is keeping this over enthusiastic blogger from posting. Watch this space for more updates because broadband is on its way. According the indian standard time, it will take another week or so to be installed. Broadband installation is another joke, which will become a blog later.

PS: Posted from a browsing center that has installed the slowest of the slow system one can ever purchase. Lot of culture shock articles coming up.

2005-07-20T06:04:00.000+05:00

HELLO FROM CHENNAI

Landed yesterday after a terrific trip. Luckily for me, the flash rains had cooled down the city a little bit. Will be exepriencing fury of the sun pretty soon. Kiruba is organizing another bloggers meet. This meet is will be very cool and will go down in the history books as first bloggers meet with sponsors. Go here for updates. Travelogue about my trip and bloggers meet coming up pretty soon.

2005-07-18T04:39:00.000+05:00

CULTURE SHOCK (REVERSE)

A book on global business introduces the concepts of culture shock and reverse culture shock. It was a part of my curriculum to take a course called "Global Business & Intercultural communication". The professor who taught us this class made us write a small report on this topic. Being a foreigner in a class dominated by Americans complicates the task. The primary reasons being expectations from the professor and denied access to trustworthy google for giving the right fodder for any paper. With real experiences in hand, the opportunity to blabber my way through was minimal. During the course of writing this paper, several subtle differences in culture(s) surfaced. This pretty much reinforced the idea no wonder everyone feels shocked. When discussions happened about the experiences, at several instances the topics became a laughing stock.

A small portion of the paper was dedicated to reverse culture shock. Here, my paper deviated from real experiences to news from magazines and newspapers about current situation in India. This historic trip home will and should be the "real deal". It is historic because I will be traveling to see whether my ramblings in the paper are really true. Steady warnings of culture shocks are pouring in every day. It cannot be a different world altogether I presume. Time to face another "culture shock", which will be of the latter category and document real experiences.

2005-07-17T02:10:00.000+05:00

LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU WHILE YOU ARE BUSY PLANNING IT.

Wonderful quote by John Lennon, a famous personality and well known his role in The Beatles band. Planning is my forte and the task of planning is an art by itself. Any task, no matter how simple it is will have a little plan attached to it. This fondness for planning arises from my six years of exposure to American academic life. Moreover, it is blasphemy for a business graduate to overlook one of the most important part of any task. When job search is in progress and career foundations are in the planning stages, a jolt from above. It seems an extended trip to India is the most important of all with an utmost sense of urgency. Will be making the marathon 21 hour flight next week and planning to spend a much needed vacation in chennai. At this juncture, the title quote above points to the vagaries of life. Mother India, here I come.

2005-07-11T06:54:00.000+05:00

YOGA QUACKS

"“An ancient Indian philosophy and way of life, where complete harmony between our body and mind is achieved by special exercise, breathing and meditation." Ref

With this in mind, can you believe that yoga is a $30 billion industry in the United States? Apparently the industry is not large enough and predictions point towards an explosive growth in the near future. It is surprising to note that yoga is classified as an "industry" similar to automobile, steel, IT etc. Just take a look around and it becomes apparent that market is inundated with products and services. This has ballooned to such an extent that stamping the word yoga on products and repackage is adequate to be. The marketing pitch turns out to be funnier than the products themselves.

One can purchase yoga specific tops, pants, mats, shoes, CD, books etc that has be designed, rigorously tested in labs and certified by some i-know-everything-about-yoga authority. Yoga was a fad for a long time and equated to something mystique. As mainstream followers gained ground, the direction this industry is going can be summarized in one word "bonkers". Some ridiculous examples are Yoga Booty Ballet, Yoga for Runners, Yoga For Your Eyes, Abs Yoga, MTV Yoga etc. If this list is unbelievable, just perform a web search for the product. There was an opportunity to watch one of the videos and the demo video shows nothing but standard exercises like sit-ups and pushups. It is also surprising to note that lawsuits are pending in American courts over exercise positions and trademarks. This is similar to the patents given to Basmati rice (a popular variety of rice grown in India for several years) a while ago, which resulted in the Indian government fighting for the rights. Yoga is not a quick fix to anyones weight problems or a sculpting tool for sagging body parts. To all newbies to yoga, please do a thorough homework and most of the products are "not quite necessary" to learn the real yoga.

2005-07-09T23:50:00.000+05:00

NO MORE HOTMAIL

Something really bad happened with my hotmail account. Hotmail has a policy of deactivating an account, which stays unused for more than 30 days. How does logging in "three times a day" sound? This account under scrutiny was used by me for the past 7 years. Today morning I was greeted with a message saying that my account was inactive and my inbox has been cleared of all messages. Important mails for the past 7 years are lost and the frustrating part is my contact list also vanished into the black hole. Here is the final adieu for hotmail. It will be yahoo and gmail from now on.

2005-07-08T06:47:00.000+05:00

LONDON BOMBINGS

That sucks big time. This is a despicable act and the freakadodos who coordinated the entire operation must be dealt with sceverely. Thinking in a different angle, these bomb blasts come a day after London won 2012 Olympics bid. Is this some sort of message trying to scare people or countries from boycotting the Olympics. These bozos must be caught and their heads must be thrust into the right places where it belongs. Yeah, you guessed it right, up in their a**holes.

2005-07-05T08:11:00.000+05:00

EMERGENCY

Indira Gandhi's blatant violation of democracy and imposing emergency during 1970's is a well known affair in India. Recounting those days as the darkest days of democracy, several publications both print and electronic media have brought special articles. One of the special features in rediff is an interview with Cho Ramasawamy. He is one admired by millions in India and particularly in Tamil Nadu. He is a veteran of tamil cinema and theater. His comical roles are indeed perfect and still lingers in our minds. His career change and foray into journalism through the magazine Thuglaq surprised many, but never ceased to disappoint the readers. As a political commentator, his views are direct and to the point. His indirect style of writing pretty much is direct and "in your face" regarding any issue.

He is one of the rare breeds and I very much agree with him to the point he makes in this article. Sometimes it occurs that strict rules and regulations will indeed help India in the long run. This is similar to a scenario of spanking a problem child. One small excerpt from his interview,

...Today, nobody is aware of his duties in this country. Laws are there to be broken. Rules are there to be violated. Regulations are there to be ignored. That's the present mood of the country.....

Click here to read the complete interview.

2005-07-02T00:48:00.000+05:00

CONFUSED NAMES AND DAYS

Human brain is a squishy piece of white jello. This jello has some pretty darn amazing array of functionalities. The memory feature in this particular case has been short-circuited or gone haywire or cranky or screwed up. Pretty much a couple of recent events show that memory has degraded a whole lot than estimated. I thought aging leads to memory loss, but this early? Anyway, I recently embarked on the idea of memorizing important dates. To a person who blissfully forgets a meeting the very next day, this is a challenging task.

Couple of weeks ago, I woke up and suddenly a flash comes to my mind. Today is someone’s birthday and who would that be? Queries to the jello in fact came up with weird answers. I was concentrating very hard and speculating whether it was Arun’s or Anand’s birthday. At this critical juncture jello pops up with “Last year same day, our neighbor had a party and his friends puked on his door”. These genius outbursts leave me with an irritating feeling similar to the incredibly annoying office assistant feature with Microsoft office software. First I try calling Arun and the call goes to his voicemail. Birthday wishes are recorded and I am satisfied with my progress. A good half an hour later, my call is returned with horrible scolding. It seems his birthday is yet to come and I wished him three months in advance. All I could here was a couple of words in the midst of beep's.

After apologies and severaly scratching my head, I spot Arvind in my messenger. Maybe it is his birthday I thought and send him an instant message. Prompt comes a reply “Why are you wishing me for my birthday when it is my anniversary?” What a bummer I thought, but I was able to save my face. Somehow wiggled the way out saying a bunch load of crap and wished the couple many more years together.

The jello is not helping at all. Giving wrong information and moreover the information is getting me into trouble. But, seriously I was hell bent on wishing someone because my brain kept insisting that it was someone’s birthday. After much deliberation I call Anita. Deliberation happened because getting scolded by guys is tolerable and retaliation is possible. What if girls start? Keeping this in mind and fingers crossed I wait for her to answer. She picks the phone and I slowly mutter “Happy Birthday”. She was surprised and asked how did I remember the date. I hit the target this time and didn’t disclose the strategy behind it. A long conversation ensued and we caught up on old things. After finishing the call, it was time for celebration because at least the third attempt worked. Stupid memory cells, it caught me traps a couple of times before giving the right person. One good feature is that it guessed three names with beginning letter A. Don’t you see some progress here? A lot of fine-tuning is on the cards.

2005-06-25T01:10:00.000+05:00

PERSONAL TAG

This was a tit-for-tat gesture by Cogito. After the book tagging round, this was expected from somebody. Anyway, here it goes

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY
kaatss (for origins, refer to my archives
mottai boss
and several others, but these two are the most popular ones.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
Everything. Frankly it does'nt matter what the fairer sex admires on me.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
Only one thing i.e. spare tyre (working on it, will get rid of it soon)

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE
Chennai, India (~21 years)
Kalamazoo, USA (~6 years)
Tam-Bram (not with racial connotations)

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
Water (I dunno swimming. Tried several times on my own, but....)
Snakes (to an extent, I dont even watch programs related to snakes on TV)
World without internet

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS
Laptop & Internet
Cellphone
Waterbottle

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
Glasses,
T-Shirt,
Jeans,
and a smile :).

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP
Very confusing question and would pass this question. The taggin rules do not mention anything about passing certain questions.

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order)
I have a girlfriend.
I can live on a staple diet of coffee for a couple of days.
I cannot stay in a single spot for a few hours.

THREE PHYSICAL (?) THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU
Physical attributes
Mental attributes
Emotional attributes
Got you there :)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW
Get a friggin job.
Start discontinued hobbies.
Increase intensity of physical activities.

FEW CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING
Aeronautical / Aerospace engineer
Professor / Teacher
Foreign services representing India
Ballistics tester from guns to tanks
Manage a (F1/A1) car racing team (latest pet peeve)

FEW THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE
Witness one of ISRO launch in sriharikota.
Create an animated movie.
Participate in a cycling marathon.
Fly a fighter jet (atleast sit in navigators seat).
Buy my own resort and retire inside a forest.

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION
Any snowy mountain spot. (Switzerland, Kashmir, Aspen...)
Any exotic beach spot. (Bali, Bahamas, Goa...)
That is more than three isint it?

THREE KIDS NAMES YOU LIKE
Its too early to talk about this. Certain things must happen beforehand.

LAST BOOK I READ
This should be rather termed as the last book I skimmed through. That will be an old edition of "The Economist".

BOOK I FOUND VERY DIFFICULT TO BE DONE WITH
Every damn book I touch is difficult to finish. The problem of ADD still persists ;).

NUMBER OF BOOKS I OWN
Very few. Close to ten or something.

BOOK I WISH TO READ
Any good book that I can lay my hands on. Although refer to previous para about having difficult with finishing a book.

THREE PEOPLE I WISH TO TAG
I wish to tag, but my previous attempt at book tagging did not work well. So, I will stop the tag chain.

2005-06-25T00:11:00.000+05:00

TALE OF A HAT

Look at the hat design below closely. This may not be a serious rendering of a viking hat, but you get the picture. Even if you don't, visualize a viking hat and scroll down below for the rest of this blog.


          .         .
        ..           ..
      ...             ...
     ...               ...
    ....     ....      ....
    .....  .........   ....
     .....................
      .......     .......
    ......           ......

Hats are often used for sinister purpose i.e. hiding baldness. If you find someone wearing the hat shown above, what would be the first sentence to come out of the mouth? I spotted my friend wearing a viking hat and admiring himself in front of the mirror. My first sentence was "Are you horny??".

2005-06-22T05:19:00.000+05:00

BRAND LOYALTY

Anybody familiar with this concept out there or heard this word at least? This blog touches upon the previous post about Formula One. Management students must have heard this word and used it in their project reports, presentations, case studies etc. Here is a new proposal that would add another dimension to this concept. This new concept, which I observed during the trip will be called "me too wanna join the hommies loyalty". Observations were made firsthand with live examples during the trip to Indianapolis.

People who came to the venue without any particular team to support are the main fodder for my observation. Loyal fans came well prepared for the race, whereas my buddies fall into the former category. Until we reached the venue, the support was wavering and all good teams figured in the talks. As we reached the venue, the sea of blood red colors from shirts, body flags, paint, caps etc started taking a toll on them. That was Ferrari's brand loyalty in action. Being the odd one out felt different and as we were walking towards the entrance, a couple of Ferrari cars zoomed past our group. To make the matters worse, a small Ferrari fan club was displaying a bunch of different models in the lawns. The heart beats of my buddies now started beating 'Ferr' and 'ari' instead of 'lub' and 'dub'. The talks suddenly shifted towards Ferrari and I sensed a change of heart. After much deliberation, they stopped at a stand to buy offical ferrari T-Shirts, which literally cost us a couple of paychecks. Only after adorning the T-Shirt, it became evident to me that my friends have fallen victim to "me too wanna join the hommie" theory. And here is the conclusion, if a conducive atmosphere exists, the number of "me to wanna join the hommies" are directly proportional to "brand loyalists". If anyone is willing to publish these research findings, you are welcome. Thanks.

PS: If this blog doesn't make sense, please ignore. I myself am left thinking what the hell did I just write.

2005-06-21T05:37:00.000+05:00

WEEKEND THAT WAS

The favorite topic in the blog circuit now is "Whose mistake was it for the F1 fiasco"? As an uninitiated member of the F1 fans club, there wasn't much interest in me for a long time. After much coercion over the week, I was initiated into the club through live get hooked strategy. This strategy is pretty daunting, where one has to experience everything first hand like (1) a long five-hour drive to Indianapolis Speedway, (2) watch the F1 bigwigs in action, (3) listen to eardrum breaking noise and finally return with a sense of satisfaction. Yes, I was there and converted myself into a die-hard fan of Formula One. The race was pretty funny because only six cars were racing. This does not directly translate into huge amounts of excitement at the tracks does it? The positions were pretty much determined by the end of third lap. Everyone was excited even though seven out of ten teams pulled off the tracks. The first couple of minutes, there was a sensation that it was some sort of test / practice lap and the actual race will start in a short while. People started booing when it was announced that other drivers had indeed pulled out of the race and only six cars are racing among themselves.

There were more Ferrari team fans than I could count of. Scanning the stands from my location, I noticed only one thing. That thing was RED. The stands were overflowing with Ferrari fans and it seems like every other person I looked at was wearing red regalia of some sort. Enough said about Ferrari, I was also surprised to find a huge, I mean huuuuuuuuge throng of Indians, basically members of the F1 cult. The best part about majority of them was their twin support for Team Ferrari and Team Jordan i.e. especially Narain Karthikeyan. The best contradiction was the fact that most of them wore Ferrari shirts to cheer the Ferrari team and carried Indian flags to cheer Narain.

My strategic position was located behind the starting lineup, the same location where bend / corner 13 is located. This bend also has the notoriety of causing all the events that unfolded during 2005 USGP. Before the race was started, I noticed a big throng of Indians standing close to the fence and waving the tricolor. It was a really good gesture by narain to jump over the railings and meet the fans. Even though his stay with the fans lasted only a few seconds, it would have made their day because narain made into the points scoreboard too. Watching an F1 race was never in my "been there, done that" list; now it is in my "do it once more" list.

2005-06-15T02:03:00.000+05:00

METAL VS MICROWAVE

Ever had a chance to use microwave. If you have, have you noticed an universal piece of advice that tags along with the purchase of a microwave oven. The caution sign reads "Warning: Do not use metal objects". Heeding to this advice, metal containers were never used for cooking or re-heating purposes. But, the warning never mentioned that even a thin film of metal can create a havoc inside the microwave. Other day when pizza was ordered for dinner, it came with a couple of small plastic cups of garlic sauce. The cup lid was coated slightly with aluminium and without realizing this fact, I stuck it in the microwave for re-heating. After a couple of seconds a crackling sound and loud THUD. This noise was coming from the microwave and I turned around to inspect the cause. The whole lid was up in flames and the entire chamber was glowing red in color. I immediately yelled "Billions of blue blistering barnacles" and turned off the microwave. Ok, I did not yell that, but I yelled "Oh Shit". As soon as the door was opened, the air was filled with burnt plastic cum metal cum garlic sauce. The sauce was not palatable and found its way to trash, but an interesting observation When metal meets microwave, sparks sure do fly.

2005-06-11T02:18:00.000+05:00

BOOK TAGGING

What a novel concept. My neurons were buzzing with activity and actively searching for topics to blabber about, when this link appears on the site. This is a good method to fill the blog with partially, maybe useless stuff. I totally agree that books are a valuable source of information, yada yada yada and all that good things people usually say about books. In my case, book served more as pillows or weights to build my shoulder and back muscles.

Total books I own: Very few, maybe 10 or so because my inventory was liquidated.

Last book I bought: SAP R/3 Sales and distribution. Yeah, I am into that field now.

Currently reading: SAP R/3 Sales and distribution. It is crazy and everything seems like greek and latin to me.

Last book I read: If you mean cover-to-cover, that would be a magazine like Business Week or Fortune or Time. If a book has to be mentioned here in particular, then it will be Rainbow Six by Tom Clancy. This was about 3 years ago.

Books that mean a lot to me: I am happy with soft copies. As I mentioned before, I do not attach sentimental value towards books. After productive application i.e. reading, the resale value is calculated and liquidated. I have pretty much sold everything or donated to other students, the books I owned.

Tag five people and have them do this on their blogs:
Srihari (http://mattermahadevan.blogspot.com/)
Arun (http://cerebralshangrila.blogspot.com/)
Moonie (http://moonietheloonie.rediffblogs.com/)
Meggie (http://meeraj.rediffblogs.com/)
Indica (http://mysticindica.blogspot.com/)

I envision future of tagging to include things like movies, dramas, colors, likes, dislikes, girls, boys, stuff etc. Let the taggin’ begin.

2005-06-09T22:29:00.000+05:00

BLOG MARKETING

This blog has been up for a while and pretty much it grew with very little marketing efforts. Once in a while, when productive work takes a backseat, a thought occurs about marketing the blog. After revving up the mind to accomplish something and increase readership of this blog, a curious scan on what to do starts. The hapless victim is a friend in yahoo chat window. The customary exchange of plesantries are carried out and a product placement strategy is executed. The blog address is given and how this blog was mentioned in a newspaper etc. The wiseguy at the other end finally asks me, "I will read your blog provided you provide me with something something".

This is another instance where marketing ideas did not work. It is time to bundle up all the ideas and throw it in a loft and wait for the next spark to light up.

2005-06-09T22:18:00.000+05:00

WHY PEOPLE PLAY TENNIS?

Good question, but can you guess the answer. It is indeed a twisted one, try guessing and read below.

Because, it is the game played with two balls

2005-06-08T20:11:00.000+05:00

HOW TO MAKE COFFEE

First, make regular visits to the coffee shop in building for a few consecutive weeks. Then, realize that the amount of money spent on coffee is more than what it costs to brew your own unlimited supply of coffee.

Coerce the boss to buy a coffee maker for mutually beneficial reasons. The boss ends up buying the tiniest coffee maker a man can imagine.

Drive five miles to buy all other essentials like coffee powder, filter, creamer and sugar. Also deliberate on cost versus benefit analysis on buying stirrer versus spoons. Meanwhile, venture into good for nothing discussions on which item exerts better fluid mixing dynamics i.e. stirrer or spoon.

Clear an unused table and setup the items on the table with utmost care. Throw a coffee filter and measure a good proportion of coffee powder into the holding cup.

Fill the coffee maker with four cups of water and turn on the machine.

Eagerly wait for the coffee to be brewed, when aroma fills the entire room and gets everyone salivating.

After the last drop is collected in the jug, look for cups. Damn, where are the cups we wonder and realize that the most important component that facilitates the journey of coffee from the maker, all the way to our taste buds was missed in our shopping trip.

After much heated debate, take a perfectly full pot of coffee and dump it in the wash basin.

2005-06-08T20:06:00.000+05:00

PONDERING ABOUT

Business schools are the only places where one is forced to learn ethics. Moreover, there is a skeptical view of ethics followed in business and jokingly referred to as two magnets with same poles. There are several instances in corporate history, which validates the previous statement. Ethics factor in only when a tough decision has to be made. To support a decision on ethical grounds can be tough because there is not right or wrong answer. So, when it does not matter whether you are right or wrong, all you have to do is reason your decision in a manner that is acceptable. When it boils down to personal ethics, it is a different story altogether. An individual does not create a mission statement or code of ethics and sticks a copy in front of his desk.

Why such a dilemma about what to do and what not to do? It is a tough question to answer because unwritten promises will be broken for the benefit of one and to the bereavement of other. Such ethical dilemmas and some decisions that are made today will have implications far into the future. It is always the question of “Am I doing the right thing?” Given the current circumstances, even the simplest of decision becomes a big task to handle. Even though decisions are not forced, the thought of risking reputation and juggling options around makes me feel drunk without even smelling a bottle of wine. Decisions have to be made and made pretty soon. All I am worried about now reverts back to the same question, “Was that the right thing to do?” As karma shows us that what you sow is what you reap, meticulous thinking each option is similar to a 100 ton weight placed on my head.

It is akin to “Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost, where future will certainly involve pondering about what would have happened if the “Other” option was chosen.

2005-05-27T03:09:00.000+05:00

NASA SPACE CENTER

Yes, the dream became reality at last. For a space junkie like me, this was the ultimate opportunity to explore all quadrants of rockets and space. The feeling was skin to a kid let loose to satisfy its appetite in a chocolate factory. The theme of this space museum focused on moon missions and current space exploration activities undertaken by NASA. Visitors are immediately greeted with a full size space shuttle, which is the mainstay of American space technology today. Although, the complete space shuttle is not available in the exhibits, the front cockpit is still preserved in its original condition. As we walked into the cockpit, the magnitude of this machine became evident. Scores of dials and switches controls the space shuttle on its journey(s) towards the space and back. It was also surprising to note that the living area for these astronauts was smaller than a decent sized living room on earth. Majority of cargo space is allocated for satellites and other cargo, which will vary according to the missions undertaken.

The mockup area held historic pieces from the space program as well as a scaled down version of the international space station. Every little artifact had played an important role in one of the real missions conducted by NASA and had a history. The best piece preserved today in my opinion is the re-entry capsule used in one of the moon missions. The capsule had visible damage from the heating process due to atmospheric friction during the re-entry procedure. Authorities indeed planned the entire exhibit meticulously. I took a chance in landing the space shuttle in one of their simulators and failed miserably at the task. The simulator even passed a sarcastic comment about my flying skills, "Ok pilot, you are the only one to fly this aircraft where no human has ever tried before". There were mini simulators among the exhibits, where one could experience G forces, fly in jetpacks or experience weightlessness. Since a quick ride in these simulators were not wallet friendly, I passed these opportunities.

Also, we took a tram ride through the maze of buildings where astronauts train each day for their missions. The tram tour took us through real buildings and the tour guide gave a short presentation on research undertaken in each building. The highlight of this tour was historic mission control center. The mission control facility was used during all the moon missions and until recently was being used for the shuttle missions too. It was the same room that controlled Neil Armstrong's landing and safely bought back Apollo 13. Seminars and short movies were organized that told the story about the old times and tough job engineers faced during missions. It was here, the new famous words "Failure is not an option" was uttered by the mission director. Another building that deserves attention is the astronaut training facility, where simulators for each and every aspect of the mission have been constructed. We viewed the entire training facility through a viewing gallery on the top floors, but the real life scale pieces of international space station were indeed mind-boggling. Every possible combination of moves an astronaut makes in the space is practiced to an extent; everything is etched in their minds.

Small theaters were installed in several places that where showing movies of important moments during the entire history of NASA. Each one had a different theme in terms of the movie being played, audio-visual effects, length etc. One such theater had an engineer from NASA explaining the mars rover missions. She explained in simple language about the present and future of NASA. The speech was really interesting and motivated a few kids among the audience. One question lingered in my mind after the visit, "Why did'nt I choose aerospace engineering?"” Later, when I was talking to my friend in florida, she echoed the same thoughts after visiting NASA's launch pad. Overall it is a two thumbs up and MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

2005-05-27T01:10:00.000+05:00

RAMAN EFFECT

Sir CV Raman(CVR), the famous Nobel prize winner in physics was working with a scientist in the lab. The junior scientist(JS) was frustrated over the results and complained about lack of facilities in the laboratory.

JS: Foreign labs have better equipment and scientists can conduct better experiments there.

CVR: What is the rating on their equipment?

JS: 20kT

CVR: What is the rating in ours?

JS: 10kT

CVR: Then, apply a 2kT brain in our equipment.

A small story as narrated by my friend.

2005-05-24T04:02:00.000+05:00

CALL

On occasions dreaming stretches to an extent, where things happening in the real world sort of merge into the dream. The virtual show was rudely interrupted by a telephone ringing sound. First it was dismissed as though the sound was a part of my dream. As the pitch became louder, I reach for the phone and pressed talk to answer the call.

Sleepishly I mutter something, which closely resembled a bunch of jumbled words and the voice on the other end goes, "HEY, Calculate the monthly payment....gobble wobble...5000 dollars....blah blah....interest rate....yikkity yak..percentage...maturity 5 and 7 years".

For a second I was still thinking that my dream was something related to a CNBC program or old memories of my finance professor screaming and confusing the class with his tough problems. After I realized that was my friend on the phone, I obliged and mumbled on my way to retrieve the financial calculator. Punching the numbers, I took about good two minutes to reply back "Hey, the calculation gives a negative number, which indicates that bank owes you $6252 something dude". My friend in a shocked tone replies "Idiot, I am in a car parking lot and planning to buy a car after taking a loan for $9000 for 5 years and 4.75% interest. You better recalculate and give me the monthly payment NOW."

Laughing at myself for working out the worst loan calculation in the history of mankind, I keyed in the correct values this time and gave a mini scenario analysis for different combinations. A nice jolt out of the blue, that bought me to senses and taught me how to avoid jibberish in the future.

2005-05-20T01:23:00.000+05:00

CONFUCIUS SAYS

I hear and I forget,
I see and I remember,
I do and I understand.

Read and re-read this little saying in another blog. Coupled with another famous maxim "Always ask the question why? to understand", the essense of mugging nad vomitting does not make sense.